So Upset With My Therapist And Don't Know What To Do

[barefoot]

As I mentioned a few posts up, things have moved on a lot since I started this thread in February. I'm in a very good place with things now and we are doing good work together, so things have worked out well and I feel very positive about it.

I'm very happy for people to keep engaging with this thread if it's helpful - a few people have mentioned that it has been useful in relation to thinking about their own therapy challenges/therapeutic ruptures. That's great - the support I got in this thread meant a lot and really helped me during what was a very stressful time, so if it can also help others in some way too, that is a double win as far as I am concerned! :-)

It was never a thread about whether long term therapy is unnecessary/a scam or whether my therapist was stringing out my therapy longer than necessary in order to make more money out of me.

I'm always very open to reading different views, perspectives, experiences, insights etc - that's what's great about this place! And we certainly don't all have to agree on everything. To be honest though, it feels like some here are pushing their own belief/agenda about what therapy "should" look like and are maybe projecting their own not-so-good experiences. As the OP, it just doesn't really feel relevant to me and the situation I outlined here to receive the message that I shouldn't be in therapy after all this time anyway - as if I haven't somehow "done it right" as a client or as if my therapist is completely unskilled and/or totally exploitative and money-grabbing.

And it's shitty if you feel you've been exploited by a therapist or if you've ever found yourself stuck doing ineffective therapy with an incompetent or unprofessional therapist. It really is. But, while I certainly think my therapist dropped the ball with some stuff a few months ago and that she could have handled some things differently/better we are now back on track, so it feels a little frustrating to me that there are now posts here questioning the whole value of longer term therapy i.e. questioning my therapy, which I (and my therapist) have worked hard on and feel I am making good progress with.

Like almost everything in life, therapy is not one size fits all and it feels a bit judgey to me for some to make quite dogmatic statements about what should and shouldn't be.

We all have our own experiences and we are all entitled to our opinion but it feels like this thead could now easily head off in a whole new direction of debating the value of long term therapy and that isn't really what the thread is about. So, may I respectfully ask that, if you want to explore and debate those ideas, you start a new thread focused on them - it will probably get more engagement as a separate thread because people will have actively gone to that thread because they want to discuss those topics too.

I'm not being stroppy about that, so I hope I don't sound that way - it just feels like this thread could go veering off on a big ol' tangent.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

@barefoot thank you for taking an assertive stand. You are right I was projecting my negative experience with my former therapist. You can feel free to call me out on it directly. Anyhow, very mature response on your side. I still think the article I shared has value but I agree this is not the thread for that discussion. Again thank you for you honest response. Based on your suggestion, I will actually create a separate thread on this topic cause I wanna hear other peoples' opinions.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

Here is a link to the thread I created:
Short term vs long term therapy opinions and experiences

All future response about short-term versus long-term therapy should be directed there.

I appologize for hijacking the thread.

 

[joeylittle]

@barefoot - a reminder that as a premium member, you now have the ability to lock threads you start.

I'm not suggesting you do that - just letting you know the option is there. Any questions, please open a help ticket. :)

 

[Deleted member 35429]

I agree. Here is an article I found that supports this:
Opinion | In Therapy Forever? Enough Already

Also, check out This is How by Augustine Burroughs. There is an essay "How to be a Good Mental Patient".

Ugh, come on you guys, don't judge when people need therapy for extended periods. One simple little article or study is not helpful. PTSD is very complex and can take many more than 7-12 sessions. I am a very functional adult with a family and career but my history in a violent cult-like relationship when I was young haunted my core being. 20 yrs later and finally I've been seeing a therapist 2x a week for 18 months and truly only in the last month have I been able to stop dissociating in session enough to make progress with him. I truly believe this is necessary work in order for me to be whole again.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Ugh, come on you guys, don't judge when people need therapy for extended periods. One simple little article or study is not helpful. PTSD is very complex and can take many more than 7-12 sessions.

Agreed! I've been in therapy for 8 yrs and I expect several more years at least to put me out "ok" on my own with the correct tools. And its not my therapist or me, its my trauma.

ETA: 3 years was taken up by my family and the first year he had no idea of my true trauma so I say we really have been working on my trauma and me for 4 years though.