So What is it?

[Still Standing]

That heavy tiredness, where the eye lids droop, the brain is shut off, the body feels like albatross, ooh god and it can happen even after you just got up after a restful day. yeah! that one is dissociation. And it is brutal. It can hit me in a meeting, and I need or wish someone pour hot or cold water. It is not a normal napping.

What is hard to afford is being afraid of your own dreams – you are making them so you need to own them.

I don't believe I have ever referred to myself as being fragile before, but, today I am. Reading your whole post had me wiping tears from my cheeks. You made me cry and that is no easy feat, as I hide behind stoicism. I think @Freida and @ladee have caused my eyes to leak a little with gracious things they have shared with me but, all out crying, you win, @grit.

You described the tiredness succinctly! It is not normal. And I have used napping, I thought, to revitalize me, to no avail. It has only been in the last couple of months, after almost half a century of napping, that I have understood it to be 'not normal'. It is a comfort and a way to escape life...both of which I long for right now...today. I don't think any amount of hot or cold water would shock me long enough to prevent that drugged-like desire to nod off. Yes, it is something I have to be aware of and try to practice ways to circumvent its hold on me.

As for the dreams and nightmares, I do own them...I just want to give them away! Ha! Ha! If only.... I don't normally have back-to-back nights of nightmares and dissociative dreams. In fact, I cannot remember having anything quite like what I have had this last week. So, I know things have gotten stirred up via therapy and EMDR. And, yes, I need to be more proactive. After the holidays, I plan to start an art class which will help.

Thanks for sharing. Your post was helpful and encouraging.

 

[grit]

I don't believe I have ever referred to myself as being fragile before, but, today I am. Reading your whole post had me wiping tears from my cheeks. You made me cry and that is no easy feat, as I hide behind stoicism. I think @Freida and @ladee have caused my eyes to leak a little with gracious things they have shared with me but, all out crying, you win, @grit.

You described the tiredness succinctly! It is not normal. And I have used napping, I thought, to revitalize me, to no avail. It has only been in the last couple of months, after almost half a century of napping, that I have understood it to be 'not normal'. It is a comfort and a way to escape life...both of which I long for right now...today. I don't think any amount of hot or cold water would shock me long enough to prevent that drugged-like desire to nod off. Yes, it is something I have to be aware of and try to practice ways to circumvent its hold on me.

As for the dreams and nightmares, I do own them...I just want to give them away! Ha! Ha! If only.... I don't normally have back-to-back nights of nightmares and dissociative dreams. In fact, I cannot remember having anything quite like what I have had this last week. So, I know things have gotten stirred up via therapy and EMDR. And, yes, I need to be more proactive. After the holidays, I plan to start an art class which will help.

Thanks for sharing. Your post was helpful and encouraging.

oooh Still Standing,
thank you so much for your kind words. You did tear me up too. I think sites like this bring us closer. I wish you all the best in this journey. It is lonely one but you are still standing!

Love and peace of mind.

PS. we do pick the right avatar names!