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Sociopath?

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I’m going to hold off on the divorce for the time meaning so I’m not only financially stable but also mentally stable to be able to get through it.
Keep holding as much distance as you can from him in the meantime. It will be tough, but you've got this! One step at a time. And you have validation from around the world that you deserve so much better. :)
 
I couldn't even finish reading your post in one sitting, as it made me feel so upset for you and brought on memories of an ex I had who was a lot like this guy.

It doesn't matter if he is a sociopath or a narcissist. He's a jerk who can't treat you right and the best option here is to leave it alone, cut all contact, dont ruminate on anything, accept that he is the one with the problems and you never deserved any of his mistreatment, focus on loving and caring for yourself, and move on. No amount of understanding, patience or empathy chances these types of underhanded abusers. You're so much better off to walk away for good.
 
I have made an appointment next week for some counselling. In the mean time he has told my son to hand me a note. In the note it says. “I need time to really decide wether I want to be with her or be with you or do I just want to come back to you because I miss my kids badly”

What an arsehole!
 
I suspect a battle ahead... please stay strong. If he is a true narc or socio, now is when the sappy flattery and all the mind twisting games really begin. Be prepared! Lean on us for help and support!

It's as though abusers like this follow a manuscript on behavior... always this 'sour' to 'sweet' swing. He will be missing the kindness, attention and compassion he got from you. If he's a true narc or socio, the games will completely amp up now that you've set the stage to abandon him. Just remember to be strong. We are here for you. Don't let him play you anymore. You're obviously much, much stronger than him.
 
Ugh. Yes. He will prob use every cheap tactic. I think it's called "grey rocking"; where you just remain as boring and plain and nonresponsive as possible. You gotta bore them out of your life since they crave reaction and response. Just like a plant grounded in the soil, swaying slighlty with the wind... rain, storms... no F's given, keep living, keep existing. Ignore the fly you so desperately want to swat away. Now you have to use 'battle tactics', so to speak, to regain your life and independence from this leech of a person. There's plenty of advice online on how to deal with narcs and socios. Good luck
 
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