Sufferer Some Family Members Do Not Believe Me

[radicalgratitude]

I have begun another thread but I never did the introduction thread. Still, I am pretty new. I have PTSD with dissociation. I am working hard every day to heal, and I juggle that with teaching at an elementary school. We started school a month ago. Within that time, I have stopped having any contact with my biological father (a.k.a. my abuser). My stepmom (married 5 years) does not believe any of my allegations of sexual abuse and now has forced my stepsister (a grown woman) to break off contact with me to "prove" that she hasn't taken any sides. I also have family members who do support me, and I am thankful for them.

I go back and forth between hating my life and finding something fulfilling in it. Between feeling immobilized and being able to work. Between not believing myself and painfully aware of the truth. Between missing my dad and feeling relieved that he'll never be able to hurt me again.

Does it even matter if some people don't believe? How have people dealt with slander?

 

[cdg]

Welcome. I hope it gets better.

 

[molly63]

A lot of my family members were in denial when I tried to reach out for help. Even recalling abuse around them, they would quickly change the subject. It was only through therapy that I was able to learn that they are messed up psychologically in their own way. They can't handle the truth and will always be in denial. I just learned that knowing what really happened is enough for me and that I will be a better person than them. You are healing and that is all that matters. Hope you find some peace.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome. I hope the information and support here helps.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Radicalgratitude,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum! :)

People will believe what they want to believe and many will perpetuate their own lies as that is far less uncomfortable to them than facing the truth. Unfortunately, that doesn't make it hurt any less and the only choice that you have is to focus on yourself. You can't change anyone else, but you can make the changes that will help you heal.

I hope you find the information and support from this site beneficial to your healing. There is also a sister site: MySexAbuse.com that you might also find helpful.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[twopenny]

The thought that jumped to my mind is that those who don't believe you are probably unable to cope themselves with the idea that this happened, and they did nothing to prevent it (whether they knew of it or not).

Not that being aware of any of that makes it any easier for you.

A few people wouldn't believe that my mother beat me, although I'm no longer in contact with them. I think it matters if the people involved are important to you, but that it's true that they may always deny it, simply because they may not be able to face it. I hope that you find a way to make your better days more frequent.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Welcome.

The denial is their issue. What matters is that you know the truth.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

When I first started therapy, I still had contact with my dad and he said I needed therapy. That was the last time I saw or spoke to him. No one in my family believed me. I was so low at this. I did not have the wisdom, experience, or knowledge that that my family was so dysfunctional. I had to disconnect from my entire family. I went through hell, so I can empathize with what you are going through now.

Get all of the information you can on families with denial A good book for me was Toxic Parents by Susan Forward. It explained so many things to me that I did not know and it was easy to understand.

I wish you the very best on your healing process. I know being on the site has helped me so much not to feel alone. I am glad you have family members that support you. That support makes such a huge difference.

Families do not like to face the dark secrets and discuss them. They are in great denial. They are the sick ones and really need help, but sadly they do not go for it. I am so sad you have to go through this.

Over the years, healing will come to you. You are on a journey and you want to heal from the scars. Hugs.

 

[radicalgratitude]

Thank you so much, everyone for all the support, advice, and encouragement. I signed up for the sister site too. This is my theme song right now:

You know, I wrote that I sometimes miss my dad, but I don't know what exactly I miss him for. I don't think I miss him, but I think I am grieving the loss of my fantasy of a positive father-daughter relationship.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)