Geena Amandus
New Here
I did not know where to put this thread. Two days ago, I had an "emotional outburst" (not my term but it fits the moment) where I was in an argument with a roommate. I told her I would not stay in the house and argue, I was starting to cry and I couldn't talk. There is a lot of context to this: I am adopted and some of the abuse I experienced happened early and I think I always had fragmented memories of the abuse, both physical, sexual, and psychological. One of the psychological attacks often employed at ages 5 and 6 was to tell me that I had better behave and shape up (that meant behave as expected) or I would be shipped back to where I came from in a box. I knew I was adopted and I knew what my seemingly all powerful adoptive father meant. He has killed animals in front of me and I had an inkling of what death meant. Early trauma of mine and others is a long story, I bring up this short background to say that my roommate was a friend of thirty years and knew a lot about my history. The result of trauma and my history has been that I grew up feeling like I had no, or very little, family.
The end of the argument was to remind me that I was now no longer part of the family and it was my fault. I want to pose these questions to myself and anyone who reads this:
1. Psychological abuse, even though not delivered by a spouse or intimate partner, is it still domestic violence, if the point of the (ongoing) psychological abuse is to gain control or power over someone close to the abuser? For instance, my roommate and I have never been romantically involved but we have been roommates/friends before and we share all expenses of the house and have also been friends giving mutual support, reflective listening, advice, etc.
2. I am wondering, for those who know about long term trauma, whether or not you have personally experienced post traumatic symptoms, if you have heard of someone abusing another, or several others, with their (the survivor's) triggers and traumatic memories?
The end of the argument was to remind me that I was now no longer part of the family and it was my fault. I want to pose these questions to myself and anyone who reads this:
1. Psychological abuse, even though not delivered by a spouse or intimate partner, is it still domestic violence, if the point of the (ongoing) psychological abuse is to gain control or power over someone close to the abuser? For instance, my roommate and I have never been romantically involved but we have been roommates/friends before and we share all expenses of the house and have also been friends giving mutual support, reflective listening, advice, etc.
2. I am wondering, for those who know about long term trauma, whether or not you have personally experienced post traumatic symptoms, if you have heard of someone abusing another, or several others, with their (the survivor's) triggers and traumatic memories?
