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Something and then absolutely nothing?

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CopperDeer

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Hi y'all,

I'm hoping this post is in the right thread, but honestly I'm not sure what's happening right now. I think I do dissociate, but I don't know enough about it or those moments to say if it happened.

I had what I personally call an episode (crying, hyperventalating, etc). I was in the car having my episode maybe 40 minutes ago and because we had a destination where other people were present I had to pull myself together quickly. Normally when this happens I am able to process it slowly and then move on to something not emotionally/physically/mentally demanding. My boyfriend also said "I need you to not do this right now". While I understand why (it was raining heavily, visibility was low, water on the road, he has car accident related trauma, etc), it's still bothering me.

Unfortunately, I feel absolutely nothing right now. It feels like I shut down. Does anyone have insight to why this is and what to do about it?
 
It seems like to me you were having a panic attack and weren't able to use any coping to help calm or soothe yourself. It doesn't sound like your boyfriend was able to be supportive or empathetic in that moment either, which probably didn't help. It sounds like it may have hurt you when he said that. In order to cope your mind may have tried to give you a break so you can get through it. Dissociation is coping, but it can be unhelpful especially when it lingers. Finding other ways to cope besides numbing can help. Feeling safe again could help.

You can use grounding and breathing techniques to help with panic attacks and dissociation. Mindfulness practices can help too, especially with being present and understanding what is happening. Some use medication for acute panic attacks. You can research ways to cope with panic attacks.

If the numbness or episodes persists considering seeking out therapy. If you don't have a better coping skill, your brain will just keep going back to what it knows works.
 
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