I don't necessarily agree that Ju2 didn't want the help & comraderie that is supposed to be a part of this forum. It takes a lot of courage & at least some refection back to one's trauma when you introduce yourself to this forum.
Think how difficult it was for many of us after posting our traumas & expecting the worst for doing so. I know I felt vulnerable & about to get abused after my first post, especially when one of the mods sent a pm when I didnt capitalize my header (i am unable to bend my last 3 fingers of L hand now after a pair of Great Danes attacked my service dog in June this past summer. i have gotten lax in typing caps in other forums I use & just fell into that pattern here.)
My initial reaction to the mod's pm was to just quit this forum. i really was in gut-wrenching anxiety that physical abuse was around the next corner. I am a perfectionist about many things and the more my disabilities & this latest hand injury I have to let certain things go in my normal day-to-day living. Luckily for me it wasnt a totally messed up day regarding my PTSD symptoms when I read the pm.
I was able to talk myself down that "no I wasnt going to get abused." regardless of the reasons for or against caps in the headers, i just had to be more careful; take the extra time to capitalize headers in future despite my situation with typing now. its not my "house" & if it were I would expect guests to try to follow my rules. its not a major deal to me to have to cap the headers here.
That said, I can relate to Ju2 getting on the defensive & even "quitting" over a "preposterous" rule. Maybe it's that age-old PTSD creed of self-destruct-mode we all can relate to either recently or way back when undiagnosed or poorly treated ptsd symptoms went unchecked & we had no clue why we acted the way we did.
Or, perhaps, Ju2 (& I hope you are still reading this & considering becoming a part of this online community) was triggered by how the situation came down, maybe felt threatedned or whatever. It may have been over a minor disagreement on typing and editing issues. Yet, when we are at our breaking point, how many of us have never lost control or gotten way to defensive or wound up over seeminly minor issues.?
Just last week, I completely went nuts over my mom (primary carer for me, now) taking one of my new ink pens without telling me (she tends to misplace things and I no longer am able to drive to go and buy new things on the spur of the moment). Yet the real issue was I had been up all the night before numerous times from a flood of nightmares and i was totally on edge that the first minor thing & I lost it, then hated myself for yelling over a dumb issue and then the self-hate talk, shame and that whole viscious cycle.
We do need to follow this forum's sense of rules, I agree; even if it isn't what some of us would do or are used to or whatever the reason is. I just know that I can relate to Ju2's sudden flight from the forum after the first bit of disagreement over a seemingly minor issue. Its another script we follow in attempts to deal with our traumas that usually goes bad for us & doesnt really affect the object of our ire.
I hope Ju2 does reconsider joining this forum. Ju2 like most of us sufferes is obviously in pain. I know that I often have fought with those who said they were supportive of me, & most were, but my pain was so great and often still is that I feel even the supportive ones are really the enemy. Intellectually I know the difference but our feelings can be so powerful that we push all others and that subconscious self-sabatage is second nature.
Ju2, if you never want to be a part of this again, & you read this: Just know that you are a valuable person. You are obviously in pain, if this forum aint for you, please find someone where you are to talk to whether a therapist or a group or whatever. Being in this pain with no support is a lonely, dead-end path. I've been there.
