Starting To Withdraw

[smyh]

I have noticed lately that I am pulling back from people and from self care activities. I feel like when I try to reach out that I am not taken seriously. My energy is too low to want to do much of anything. I'm struggling just to get out of beds some mornings. So I am stuck mostly with my own thoughts and I feel like it is the start of a downward spiral.

 

[Seasounds]

When I have been in your situation, I have found it helpful to call someone, or get out to an alanon meeting. How about calling or go to a crisis center, and say what you wrote in your thread. Do you want to call a crisis line now?

Do you want to post on the fourm's chat, right now?

Connect to someone!

Not being taken seriously can cause depression to worsen. Push back, help someone see how you are in a serious situation.

 

[smyh]

My primary contact is my husband, who has trouble understanding what it's like to go through depression and all that for prolonged lengths. It is hard to explain everything to him or I am too ashamed of it. My secondary contact doesn't quite see how my flashbacks are terrifying me nor has he been contacting me back recently. I don't want to go back to the hospital.

 

[Friday]

I have noticed lately that I am pulling back from people and from self care activities.

That's a very good thing to notice!!!

It gives you a serious edge to be able to recognize what you're doing, call halt, and both seriously ramp up the things that help you (self care), and go easy on the things that you might normally be fine with, but cannot handle when doing badly. There's a whole lot of power to be able to adjust course at the very beginning, rather than having to dig yourself up out of a hole ages later. Like being able to recognize a panic attack before it comes on, take a step back, and circumvent the sucker altogether... but better. Because being able to circumvent an entire bad cycle? Whether your cycles last days/weeks/months, it's a huge victory :D

I feel like when I try to reach out that I am not taken seriously.

As a practical (and serious) question; how does this matter? What could someone else do? I'm guessing there's probably a short list of things you have in mind? If so, can you list those things out and find alternatives that don't require anyone taking you seriously? Like hiring them done, or figuring out ways that you can do them? So that what you need/want to happen, happens?

Again...it's a really honest Q... Just different spheres of experience / I don't really understand what people mean when they say other people aren't helping them, or taking them seriously. I suspect it's rather like the difference between co-parenting & single parenting. The same stuff needs doing, but the ways of achieving those things looks very different. I'm just coming at this from the other side / don't inherently know what people are talking about. // Hence the Q :)

 

[Sideways]

Withdrawal, struggling with ADLs and an ever decreasing amount of energy are all warning signs for me that my mood is heading south in a big big way, and action is required (action is also near impossible - figures!).

The feeling of it being a downward spiral is bang on. That's exactly what it is. Low energy + don't want to get out of bed anyway = stay in bed, energy continues to drop, mood continues to nose dive.

Stopping that spiral? Identify it's happening (tick!) and decide that my Major Depressive Episodes are something to be avoided at all costs (tick tick).

Breaking the spiral starts with getting out of bed, even when it feels impossible/pointless/hopeless/meaningless etc etc etc.

I stick with my Must Do and Bonus lists of things to do like an obsessive at these times. Eaten brekky? Tick. Evidence that I did something, even if it's pretty much a given, I need to prove to my doubting head that I can at least do the small critical stuff.

It's awful. It feels impossible. But the energy doesn't come back until we start to use it. Even more basic, the mood doesn't stabilise until we start geting out of bed again.

Ifwe had diabetes, it would be insulin every day, no matter how awful, because the alternative is far worse. We have depression - our form of insulin is getting out of bed.

Sounds easy. Feels like it should be easy (Depression Brain can have a field day with that - "I can't even get out of bed, I'm so .....). It's not. It's damn hard. But that's the key to stopping the spiral. You know what it's like at rock bottom, you've caught it in time, and you CAN do this. Know that when you wake up, your brain will flood you with a hundred reasons not to get out of bed, then do it anyway.

Thoughts are with you. Know the Depression demon all too well, and I really hope you beat it before it takes over completely.

 

[ladee]

@smyh, Please listen to these members !!! I posted something similar yesterday... got this type of feedback..stared doing what was suggested... and feel totally different today !! We both caught it before we were in the rabbit hole... awesome catch Smyh.... !!! Try what has been suggested... nothing to loose.. and your brain will fight it.. but do it anyway... good luck... hope you and i both save our self a trip south.