Startle Response Burnt Out?

[Jenfa]

I used to be an electrical storm ready to strike at any moment. My startle response was so high that I would run from Effexor brain zaps. People on the highway used to scare me by the way they drove, getting too close, driving too fast, etc. Sounds and lights, talking or yelling would send me running in the other direction. However, I've noticed that my startle response now is perhaps less than it should be rather than over the top.

I've had semis about hit me on the expressway numerous times. I've been in a bunch of car accidents, so one would think I would have some sort of fear about crashing, but I don't. Last week, a dog ran out from behind a house while I was taking a walk. He/she was running towards me while growling and drooling viciously. I thought for seriously less than a second, and ended up just standing there, looking at the dog like an asshole. As if to say, "Really...". The list is endless of times I should have been a bit startled, but it just didn't happen.

Is it possible to be startled so much that you can in essence burnt it out? It reminds me of that SpongeBob episode where he thought he burnt out his laugh box. lmao I'm just not sure if it's possible to burn out my startle box. Thoughts? <3

 

[franciemarnie]

For me, when I really did burn out, a constant startle effect was a symptom or characteristic.

I love your response to the dog of "Really?"

 

[TLight]

Sometimes I hit a 'I don't give a crap if I die or whatever, bring it on'.......it's a kind of numbness, I'm just plain done with everything.
Then the startle response is really absent, not normal I think.

If I haven't slept well or drank the night before......then my nervous system is in high gear over just about anything, the way the sheets are on the freakin bed.....whatever.

Sleep and my symptoms are really linked for me. Along with physically overdoing it or being around humans too much.

As long as I'm a hermit and can sleep all day with meds, go out here and there a bit..........I do ok.

When I get my feelings hurt, which is really easily lately, I go into a strange suicidal mode of like I'm walking dead, or just waiting to die and I don't give a damn what happens to me........self care goes out the window. I just daydream about the day I'll get the 'diagnosis'........what a relief. I love daydreaming that.

 

[Jenfa]

Thanks for the replies! I think you're right about it being a 'numbness' or disassociation thing. I never really looked at it that way. I was all like, "omg i'm cured!" lmao which I find hysterical. But I can see now how anything sudden that happens might be diverted from my mind until I can process what actually happened. It is sort of nice to be the chillest driver on the expressway when everyone else is beating on their steering wheels and screaming at nothing. I will still keep an eye on myself in case it turns into something that's dangerous (bipolar episode etc.).

 

[Justpassintime]

I spent most of life with no startle response, predominately because showing fear was akin to death. It really freaked people out. I've done it maybe three or four times in the last five or so years and I find it awkward. If you startle me when I am sleeping, well that's a different story because I have this ridiculous response that scares the crap out of whoever startled me. I don't know that for anyone it's a constant thing - maybe it's like the tides, it goes up and down and then if there's a trigger like a hurricane you get crazy big tide OR the water goes way out further then it ever does.

 

[BloomInWinter]

What you are describing could be a freeze or collapse response. Some of what you've mentioned also sounds like a good candidate for dissociation.

These are just symptoms from the brain's response to trauma. They are not caused by some flaw or bad character. Having such symptoms is distressing enough...beating ourselves up for having them only adds to our suffering and does nothing for helping us learn how to manage these.

Mention the numbness to your therapist. S/he can help you learn how to manage it.