Startle Response

[pianogirl]

Hi everyone,

One of the constant reminders that I have PTSD is my startle response. Today and a couple days last week it was bad enough to get me to tense up really bad and become anxious and short with people. I HATE it when people tap me on my shoulder or bad or if they LURK over my shoulder. Then after I'm startled enough, I get all panicky if people walk too slow by me or if someone is tailing me when I'm walking somewhere. I almost get all frazzled if I can't move out of the way.

I also hate it when people say, "I didn't mean to scare you." I'm not scared. I'm STARTLED! Geez!

Yes, it's great that my flashbacks and body memories have been on the back burner for quite some time, but man, the startle really gets to me. It hurts. I don't get really triggered or have some intrusive memory--none lately--but the startle really is making my neck and shoulders and my head hurt.

I guess I should be thankful I'm not having flashbacks regularly, because I can't function when that happens. Here I am, functioning, but I have to act all OK even though I feel like my spinal cord is on fire just from too much startling. Do any of you have difficulties with the startle response?

Thanks for listening to me.

pianogirl

 

[Blues in NYC]

I know what you mean about walking too closely behind you. My doc has an office in a nice neighborhood off central park.

On the walk from the train, joggers and kids from the elevator buildings never seem to follow the same mores of personal space that we do in my part of Brooklyn. As much as I grit my teeth about my neighborhood some days, whenever some rich kid is getting too close to me I find myself cursing in my head saying "At least in the 'hood kids have the sense not to walk directly behind another person." It's true. But then again I think at least 50% of my neighbors have some sort of trauma disorder, diagnosed or no. :crazy:

The 1970's and 1980's weren't too kind to where I live. A lot of history on these blocks. And a lot of scars on the people.

Thanks for sharing. :smile:

 

[CaptainR]

I have major issues with startle response. It drives my wife crazy sometimes - she's gotten to where she'll intentionally tap on the walls in the hallways if she knows I'm in a room down that hall, or she'll try to make a lot of noise walking or talking long before she gets close because I startle so badly all the time. She sometimes gets frustrated and angry when she forgets and I really jump badly or come close to hitting her out of reflex. She gets angry and tells me I'm the "jumpiest" person she's ever known, then she apologizes for "scaring" me.

I was in a training session with a bunch of people a few weeks ago, and they showed this video of a giant snake, and the camera panned along the snake, close up, from the tail toward the head. And you guessed it, when the head comes into view - bam - the snake snaps at the camera. Of course I wasn't paying attention to what was about to happen, so I didn't anticipate it and I nearly fell out of the chair. Of course the other guys I was with found it hilarious.

For me, it seems like my mind is so often distracted and distant, that it just exaggerates the startle response because when I'm disconnected from the world around me every intrusion is "startling".

The only way to minimize it for me is to just increase my hypervigilance, and stay strongly aware of everything and everyone around me, but that gets tiring also.

I definitely empathize with this issue. If you find a magic cure, please post it in large font, bold print.

 

[Manic11]

Dear Pianogirl,

I can't honestly say I've been startled so much that my body is exhausted and sore as you're describing but I do know how much it hurts when it does happen.
I also know the feeling of being exhausted and sore after multiple anxiety attacks throughout the day and some social anxiety. So I can relate in that sense. You aren't alone in this.

Hang in there.

Manic

 

[Mina]

I'm not scared. I'm STARTLED!

You're right, Pianogirl...biiiig difference! I remember pre-PTSD days when somebody used to surprise or scare me, and it was nothing like being startled is now. To my understanding, the exaggerated startle response is very common amongst PTSD sufferers. And from what I've found, it's also rather difficult to explain to those who don't have PTSD. I've actually had to tell everyone at work, "Don't touch me." They honestly don't understand that 'startling' me is far more disturbing than they can comprehend, and that it can be hours before I'm past it. It's not the shallow, quickly dissipating feeling of pre-PTSD days when I would be surprised or scared by someone. It's deep on a level that I often can't comprehend. Granted it's gotten better with time, but I still have to really work at getting past it when it happens.

I haven't had as intense physical symptoms as you describe from being startled, but I know that how I hold my body when I'm triggered tends to give me bad headaches...usually (if I'm at home) I'm squeezed into a tight ball, muscles totally tense. Perhaps the areas where you're hurting are where you are carrying all the tension from being startled?

My T and I have been working on physical awareness of feelings - basically, how your emotions manifest themselves in your body. One thing she's had me do is work at noticing how my body is responding given what I'm feeling. Has my breathing changed? heart rate? sweating? cold? jaw clenched? shoulders crunched up? muscles tight? Once I am aware of what I am physically doing, I can choose to try something else. Relax the shoulders, open and stretch my jaw, take deep breaths, uncurl my fists, whatever. When I'm able to be aware (which I'm not always), sometimes addressing those physical manifestations really helps counteract what's going on emotionally.

 

[Marlene]

When I was on my anti-anxiety meds, I didn't have a startle response. Nothing did it. I thought I was one of the 'lucky ones' to not get that symptom. Then when I got off the meds it was like my body became a startle free-for-all. Noises, touches, quick movements, even scenes in movies or on TV cause me to startle. What's worse is if I've seen the movie before and I know what's going to happen next and I try to brace myself...no good. I still startle and jump. Sometimes my thoughts will cause me to startle.

My husband still asks me 'Why are you so jumpy?' I've just started telling him 'Nothing better to do' since I don't feel like explaining it AGAIN. It's not like I have a choice here. It's just become part of me now. Joy.

Lisa

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

Even with anti-anxiety meds (mind you it's not a therapeutic dosage for anxiety - I take a low dose of valium as a muscle relaxer for PFD) - I am startled very easy. My husband popped up in the laundry room early yesterday evening (I hadn't been home from work long) and I jumped a mile and had to hold onto the door - he was really surprised - because I "knew he was home"....yeah - but that didn't mean I knew I was going to turn around from the dryer and see you standing there. I do think it's very normal - and it is one of my more bothersome side effects also.

 

[Irton Pike]

When I am bad the startle is there, when i am doing good, like now, then it goes into remission. doesn't totally go away but it clams down a lot.

When its bad I startle all the time!

 

[Grama-Herc]

OH YES! The startle response is alive and well in my world. I hate this symptom. I am somewhat controlled with my meds, but not completely.

I have to share a funny story with you about this

I worked in a hospital. One of the doctors just "loved" to sneak up behind me and pull my ponytail. I was pretty good at keeping up with who was where in my station, but every once in a while this particular doctor was able to sneak up on me. This day I did not see him and he grabbed my ponytail and pulled on it.

I am here to tell you he never did that again. Before I even knew it, I had spun around and was ready to punch his lights out. Luckily I caught myself. Punching doctors lights out is not advisable. You should have seen the look on his face. It was hysterical! LOL

 

[Deleted member 541]

I have noticed in the past few weeks that mine is down somewhat. I used to startle so easily, but lately not so mush. Other symptoms are up though...UGH!!!!

 

[cat]

My startle response has been on the increase over the last few weeks following an EMDR session that re-traumatised me. I'm now back to feeling totally exhausted as I now hear every noise during the night too. Consequently I've had to take the decision to go on meds (Citalopram 20mg) to reduce my anxiety & panic attacks. Is anyone else taking this & how much does it help?

 

[pianogirl]

Thank you guys for your replies. It does help to know that I'm not so alone. Despite the rest of my symptoms being "dormant"--kind of--the startle response is my constant reminder that my ptsd has interfered with my life.

When I get a chance I do try to relax my shoulders, neck, and arms so that it counteracts the tension. I might bring up the physical awareness of feelings to my T.

I am really thankful that you guys are here. It means a lot.

pianogirl