Stop Trying To Make Me Rehash My Shit. (vent)

[Jen93]

Ugh. God damnit. Another counsellor. Another "let's find out what the issue is" I give up. I'll have a friend call my psychiatrist and my counsellor and tell them I died or something.

I am so sick of having to meet new people who have to pretend to give a shit and listen to me go on about my pathetic life. I've been doing this since I was 17. I told them I've got it handled and I do. I haven't died yet from a flashback. I just want to scream at them "You think that you can stop the flashbacks or manage them? You think "just talking" is going to help me manage my anxiety? Screw the entire psychiatric occupation" (and the way they bow down to my clueless and insensitive-without-meaning-to-be parents!) Stop the goddamn merry go round, I want to get off.

 

[Seasounds]

Terrific angry vent. I could feel the flames. You are right, it is a drag. And you have a terrific spirit! I hope you stay with us, and get some kind and gentle moments with yourself and/or friends/or animals, soon.

 

[Rumors]

Just wondering, but why do you go then?

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I am seeing a new one too now, lost count of how many I've seen in the last seven years, it's tiring retelling.

 

[Leah123]

I hope you say that to the therapist. They need to know. I'm very sorry it's so hard and frustrating, sometimes I've felt I could hardly bear the anxiety, frustration, and seemingly never ending emotional roller coaster of being stuck in traumatic memory. It might help to tell them how very fed up and hopeless and angry you're feeling.

Also, not sure if someone is or not, but a therapist shouldn't be pressuring you to share details of your trauma. There is nothing wrong with focusing on the here and now, and just talking about what's bothering you day to day, whether it's flashbacks or other symptoms, or something else too. My therapist is more focused on sharing than anything, but when I told her how extremely difficult to bear the feelings and anxiety was, and pressured her some, ha, she had some wonderful techniques to teach me, and I found some myself, to just make the symptoms dissipate some.

 

[Chava]

Have you considered a body-oriented trauma focus, such as Somatic Experiencing. Talk therapy was not the best fit for me (quite poor actually) but I've gained so many more tools and also understanding through the body-oriented trauma therapy approach. You work on grounding, regulating the nervous system, dealing with flashbacks in practical ways, talking about trauma only if grounded...and really only if it feels like it will help you heal. I didn't share details of some of my traumas for a few years with my therapist. Also, I don't remember the worst of it because I was not conscious...so it talk therapy I just bitched about work too much...I couldn't figure out my trauma healing from that angle because there aren't words, or they simply did not help me. Just a thought.

Don't give up, but take a break and do some research if you are feeling worse. Or ask your current therapist if there is an option of working on grounding and other basic regulatory skills....not so much chat and rehashing trauma (that actually does almost nothing for me therapeutically).

 

[Seasounds]

The first attempts at therapy, I didn't really think that anyone was on my side. At some point, I connected to the right therapist.

A relaxation, somatic based therapy helped me, too.

I like the idea to just know the therapy space is for you; let them know the kind of 'space' you need.

If your parents are involved with paying for your treatment, ( you are on their insurance), could you discuss with them, that legally you have autonomy to pick your own Providers.

I do think you will be able to find someone, whom you can feel comfortable with. For me to find this, it helped when I gave everyone a little slack to be human. (Mainly myself, I felt like I was at fault for, ....you name it.)

Good luck.
P..S. Like your snow person!