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Sufferer Stopped Husband's Near-fatal Suicide Attempt And Now I Have Ptsd.

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LisaBlanca

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Greetings,
I'll just jump in and say I am in EMDR therapy. My husband was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and was hospitalized 37 days total over two hospitalizations (locked psych ward). After he was released the 1st time, he made a near-lethal, very bloody attempt (3 modes of suicide at once). I located him via GPS and stopped the attempt by intervening with the carbon monoxide and then he began to cut himself and exposed his femoral artery. EMS helped stabilize him and he went back to the hospital.

This was very traumatic for me, and I am now having flashbacks. I am in EMDR therapy. I set aside myself for quite a while b/c we moved out of state (this was planned prior to his attempt) and there was so much going on. I had to try to hold things together and I did. Now I am trying to work through the numerous conflicting feelings i am experiencing and flashbacks have started. Needless to say, my husband isn't able to be supportive to me. I supported his recovery, and he continues to have a long, long road to travel, but he is not really capable of giving support to me.

I'm glad I found this forum. I'll explore and look forward to reading.
 
Welcome, @LisaBlanca

I hope you find this forum as helpful and full of wonderful and supportive people with all kinds of good ideas.

I already had PTSD before my sister's suicide attempts. But your post helped me see that my feelings after her hospitalization are very real and normal for the trauma.

What you went through is horrible. From your description of using GPS and anatomy, your actions represent a remarkable act of love, bravery and action.

I hope you heal through EMDR and support.
 
Welcome, @LisaBlanca

I hope you find this forum as helpful and full of wonderful and s...
@Muse - thank you. The police officers and the pastor at the scene told me I was a smart cookie for tracking him like that as it saved his life. It wasn't a gesture, it was a real attempt and he was determined. The police at the scene said it was the worst attempt they ever saw. I have a new respect for 1st responders and police.

Today, he went to a support group for sex addicts. That's a whole other layer. He had been into porn excessively for years and then moved it up a notch to "in real life" whores. Denied me of sex saying he had a low drive, but was seeking it elsewhere. This is truly cruel IMHO. Yep - I am reeling. But I'm surviving and getting help and going easy on myself as far as housework and such b/c I need time to heal and chill. Glad I found this place b/c PTSD sucks and it's helpful to be around peeps who get it.
 
Do you have kids together or a business or something that requires contact? It sounds like he is a really difficult person to trust. Not saying that I see only one option, and it's your relationship. Nobody can understand the totality of it.

It sounds like he's trying to work on his issues.
 
No business or kids. Yep - huge trust issues now. I used to trust him impeccably. It seems like I am doing more "relationship work" than he is.

My world was completely rocked and I can't even imagine working right now (my therapist agrees). Just for now I need to work through the tough parts and go easy on myself. Leaving/moving (after just moving from one state to another) is so overwhelming an I need funds right now to care for myself.

Down the road, I will have to decide what to do with this relationship. It kills me to see him everyday. He doesn't seem to have empathy for what happened to me. For what he did to me behind my back - the porn, the whores.
 
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