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I have PTSD. I'm choosing to post here because I'm super embarrassed about this silly topic affecting me so much, and this is the only way I can get myself to reach out.
I'm a bit enamored with someone and it is stressing me out. We have mutual friends in common, met on social media and have chatted for a year. We met up in person recently, as friends. He imitated it, and I avoided meeting up for awhile, and he was terribly patient about my avoidance...
I'm totally falling into a state of puppy love infatuation over him. I wanted to just keep looking into his eyes... Seriously. Argh.
I'm rather purposefully not letting it be anything more than friends for now, because it's so confusing. I have no idea what he thinks about me, but even if he wanted to be more than friends, I'd want to just stay friends for a bit. If we keep spending more time together, which we plan to do, I will eventually ask him what he feels towards me, but not right now.
I tend to be drawn to partners who turn into jerks and stalkers. I'll like someone, but not so much and I tend to be the one that wants to be more distant than the other person. Mutual friends say this guy is a decent person. He seems to notice me for me... well, whatever I let him know about me. He doesn't know I have PTSD, but he does know I've been through "a lot" and my family is a mess. His is too. There are things I don't like about him - not red flags or deal breakers - but I hope that I'm not blind to his flaws.
This is the first time in awhile that I've let myself feel this much about someone. I'm not sure if it's him or the idea of him that I'm falling for.
I have all the old thoughts that I'm worthless and etc, and that he's a nice guy and deserves someone better than me, and when I think this way, I feel bad, but less stressed out. When I let go of all that... I have a stress reaction to the fact that I like him. My hands are shakey, I feel sick. I'm not used to really wanting to be closer to someone and it's making me panicky!
What the heck? I don't think I can do this.
I'm a bit enamored with someone and it is stressing me out. We have mutual friends in common, met on social media and have chatted for a year. We met up in person recently, as friends. He imitated it, and I avoided meeting up for awhile, and he was terribly patient about my avoidance...
I'm totally falling into a state of puppy love infatuation over him. I wanted to just keep looking into his eyes... Seriously. Argh.
I'm rather purposefully not letting it be anything more than friends for now, because it's so confusing. I have no idea what he thinks about me, but even if he wanted to be more than friends, I'd want to just stay friends for a bit. If we keep spending more time together, which we plan to do, I will eventually ask him what he feels towards me, but not right now.
I tend to be drawn to partners who turn into jerks and stalkers. I'll like someone, but not so much and I tend to be the one that wants to be more distant than the other person. Mutual friends say this guy is a decent person. He seems to notice me for me... well, whatever I let him know about me. He doesn't know I have PTSD, but he does know I've been through "a lot" and my family is a mess. His is too. There are things I don't like about him - not red flags or deal breakers - but I hope that I'm not blind to his flaws.
This is the first time in awhile that I've let myself feel this much about someone. I'm not sure if it's him or the idea of him that I'm falling for.
I have all the old thoughts that I'm worthless and etc, and that he's a nice guy and deserves someone better than me, and when I think this way, I feel bad, but less stressed out. When I let go of all that... I have a stress reaction to the fact that I like him. My hands are shakey, I feel sick. I'm not used to really wanting to be closer to someone and it's making me panicky!
What the heck? I don't think I can do this.
