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Structural Dissociation?

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My EP feels totally emotional and it feels like it takes over executive functioning completely (although my ANP is watching and saying 'what the f* is WRONG with you). I would be really interested to know what it feels like to those of you who do not lose all executive functioning. Can you describe it?

I don't know which one would be worse. I have a friend with DID who can't be held accountable for anything she does when 'switched' but I can't for the life of me explain to others how I know what I have done and not been in control of it. It sounds crazy and it feels crazy. Now at least I see the logic to it (and god knows I am always looking for the logic) :arghh;
 
I would be really interested to know what it feels like to those of you who do not lose all executive functioning. Can you describe it?

Would be interested in what others do or how they get around this too because my meltdowns involve feeling immobilized, powerless, and scattered in time and my adult self adds to this by thinking in patterns and creating catastrophes in my head.

But what I have so far: I e-mail my therapist or come on here. I write (I can organize myself better that way than through trying to talk to anyone). And that's the little part of me that is sort of beyond the EP or trauma-reliving self, wanting to recognize what is happening and pull myself back out. Even if I'm writing all the catastrophic thoughts, getting them out and seeing them seems to help me recognize it's coming from the panic of a trapped part of my self, and not entirely my current reality. Then it's sort of a matter of time, meeting direct needs, and resting..
 
OH, BUT: The aim of therapy in the case of DID is integration, so DID is therefore also only a reflection of how far trauma has been processed.
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I like Van der Hart. If you notice the material through the first pages is dry, please continue onwards. He has some good things to say. He says that each 'part' has their own conscious and subconscious. I didn't know that.

David Baldwin is good too. He goes into more depth and talk about Myers work in WW I with ANP's and EP's.

http://www.trauma-pages.com/a/nijenhuis-2004.php
 
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The EP is dedicated to the survival of "predatory" threat.
In our analysis, EPs essentially are manifestations of action systems: primarly the one that controls defense in the face of threat -- foremost threat to the integrity of the body by a person -- and potentially also the one that controls attachment to caretakers. Both systems serve survival interests and strongly influence what the patient remaining as EP is likely to sense, perceive, feel, think, recall, and do...For example, our clinical observations suggest that some childlike EPs typically display freezing and are analgesic, that others are inclined to physically resist threat and experience anger, and that still others totally submit to threat while being severely anesthetic. This threat consists in re-experiencing (traumatic) memories of severe and chronic childhood abuse and neglect, or in responding to cues that are salient reminders of these recalled events. Thus the EP may become divided into several EPs that serve different defensive functions and that rely on defensive subsystems.

Because these subsystems tend to be evoked in succession across time and progression of imminence, we propose to label this phenomenon sequential secondary structural dissociation, or briefly, sequential dissociation.
The ANP is dedicated to managing daily life and to survival of the species.
 
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Sorry to keep posting. I want to keep this information updated with information and ideas.

It looks like the posting I did on the differences between DID and Secondary Dissociation is not that more than two EP's exist within the system, but that 2 or more ANP's exist within the system. From there the ANP's can have multiple EP's, each which handle different traumatic issues and responses.

David Baldwin page as linked to, above:

Like differentiation of the EP, division of the ANP may occur as well, which we have called tertiary structural dissociation (Nijenhuis & Van der Hart, 1999; Van der Hart, Van der Kolk, & Boon, 1998). Tertiary structural dissociation, which characterizes DID, does not occur during trauma, but rather emerges when certain inescapable aspects of daily life become associated with past trauma...An example is provided by a DID patient with a history of childhood sexual abuse. When she became pregnant and needed prenatal examinations by an obstetrician, she developed a new ANP which was able to tolerate the physical examinations without intrusion of traumatic memories.
 
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Explanation for continued attachment to psychopathic idiots:
Sequential dissociation may also include an EP that remains attached, in a regressive way, to abusive and/or neglectful caretakers.
This explains so much of my life.
Since dissociation is less than perfect in most cases, the ANP does not succeed in avoiding traumatic memories completely...The ANP is relatively unaware of stimuli that reactivate the EP, [which are] experienced as uncontrollable and unpredictable.
Understatement of the century.

Please forgive for all the posts. Apparently I am 'on a roll'. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
 
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THANK YOU for the Baldwin references. These are the ones you pointed me too earlier, @Pencil yes? (Did I bookmark them or add to a bibliography like a sensible person? No. I did not.) That passage falls right in line with Panksepp's theory of basic emotional activation systems. Haven't read the footnotes, but they must be using him. There are TWO separate defensive emotional activation systems FEAR and PANIC (Panksepp adopted the convention of all caps to make clear when he is talking about the physiological system not just the usual set of concepts associated with these words." FEAR is the emotional activation system that responds to a specific perceived threat - it is mediated by adrenaline and primes for ANGER (which is fight) FEAR create flight or freeze behavior, and focuses on the perceived threat (or locus of threat). PANIC by contrast is the emotional activation system that is designed to keep small helpless social animals in the nest or close to their mother/caretaker. I have found it VERY helpful to distinguish between the feelings generated by the FEAR system and the anxiety generated by the PANIC system. PANIC is mediated by opiods - so it is VERY different biochemically than FEAR. PANIC is the system that keeps us close to those we depend on, and feeling good and safe and comforted (even if injured) when they are there. It is what generates attachment in children.
freezing and are analgesic, that others are inclined to physically resist threat and experience anger, and that still others totally submit to threat while being severely anesthetic.
These are three modes of the FEAR pathway - Adreneline is analgesic. So freeze and lose feeling, or up the adrenaline and kick in the ANGER system and fight. These are different from PANIC, which causes scanning, crying, retreating to the familiar kinds of behavior. In my H because the PANIC system had been frustrated for so long what was apparent when he went into PANIC was the frustration - it looked like ANGER. Tragic. The expression says "get away! " when the emotional system needs "come save me!"

the ANP does not succeed in avoiding traumatic memories completely. Especially when dissociation and retraction of the field of consciousness are prominent, the ANP is relatively unaware of stimuli that reactivate the EP. Such reactivations will then be experienced as uncontrollable and unpredictable.
This, in a nutshell is what my H and I have been pecking away at for the least several years. The triggers. The closet full of triggers. This and that, everyday normal occurrences that would precipitate him freaking out - once settled down, he could identify the originating event or events (You can't imagine how many of these there were around driving... his mother was a terribly bad driver sober apparently and drove drunk quite often..) and we would talk about it and it would lose steam, aka get processed. Driving, dogs, cats, children, housework, illness, the list goes on and on.

On another tack, here is the interesting thing from the point of view of relationships (following my favored "you are attracted to people equally and oppositely screwed up as you" theory) HIS primary problem was with PANIC, as is mine (removed from full time babysitter at age 4, with no transition, contact, or sensitivity from my family) He externalizes the PANIC, I internalize/disappear it put up the wall and emotionally just run silent. His externalization looked like ANGER to me, so I respond out of FEAR and run away (from time to time move out) making his PANIC worse. Also making my PANIC worse as it recreates my initial "trauma" (technically not as no physical injury was present - but emotionally yes.) of being removed from my home an abandoned by my primary care taker. Alternatively I would insist he leave, recreating one of HIS initial traumas of being forced to leave his siblings and father when his parents divorced. We did this dance a lot of times. Once we figured out it was PANIC not ANGER.... we got a wedge we could use. So long as we were treating his episodes as ANGER we got no place.

n EP that remains attached, in a regressive way, to abusive and/or neglectful caretakers.
This is my H's first two marriages and my first marriage to a rather nice guy who is aspergers-y enough to be completely emotionally unavailable much like my parents.

Having a map doesn't get you out of the woods, but it sure helps.
 
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@Pencil, yeah I'm following. Also thank you to @shimmerz for clarification.
I'm just thinking I may not have much advice; as thinking on why I'm personally frustrated with the topic (because it's not frustration with anything anyone's said or their issues even remotely) I arrived to the conclusion basically me & my headspace go very much with order that I've thrived going with in life in general, and basically going by military chain of command wouldn't translate to non-mil people so well. So there's that experience wall I'm thinking, on my side. My apologies.
 
@shimmerz, I'm making a moderator post here: Would you kindly go back through all the material you have copy-pasted and edit it down to only the key statements? In order to avoid inadvertent copyright violations, MyPTSD prefers that quoted material from other sources not exceed around 10% of the original. I've looked at all your links, and I think at this point, you've got too much copy-pasted here.

Strive to create a highly edited summary review of the material in your own words, and/or only paste the absolute minimum to highlight the thought. Others can follow links through to the entire articles you are quoting from, if they are so inclined. I'm asking you to do it instead of doing it myself because I'd like you to be able to keep what is most helpful for you, here. If you don't get to it within the next day or so, I'll need to go through and do it myself.

thanks!
 
Yes, for sure @joeylittle . Copying and pasting is not normally my style, but this topic has been difficult to understand - my apologies for having gone overboard, some of us were all struggling with the concept so felt it was easier to quote key concepts. I will take a look at it tomorrow morning if that is okay (I am burned out at this point) and either pare it down or ask to have posts deleted.

Does that work?
 
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