Structural Dissociation?

[sun seeker]

I thought this would be a good place to ask this question.

Are any of you aware of having parts that think they are other people? Most particularly, your abusers?

I think I do, and it's a startling realization.

 

[BlueOrange]

Are any of you aware of having parts that think they are other people? Most particularly, your abusers?

I have a part that is modeled after my most chronic abuser. It was critical to my survival to be able to anticipate how that person would respond to my behavior, so I installed a copy of them. They protected me from a number of bad things. They also repeated a number of behaviors; it's only after a lot of therapy that I've been able to have confidence that they won't take control when I'm under extreme stress. They frighten me a great deal.

Writing this, I realize I also installed a copy of the other one. A whole bunch of things suddenly start to make sense.

 

[shimmerz]

I have a very cold and removed side to me when triggered into some instances. Impassionate. I wonder sometimes if this is where my 'mad' has gone. Or a part of it anyway. I know my stubborn streak - the tenacious part is all about mad.

I know for a fact that my adoptive mother was cold and removed, but I think this part of me comes from farther back and was just reinforced by my mother.

I wonder if parts of us are attracted to other people like our abusers to keep that parts skill sets primed in case we need them? Idk, just a thought.

 

[Ronin]

Not sure if it'll be any help, but in a way everyone has masks & masks for certain contexts, and not every cold and removed is pathological.

Cold / detached can also mean assessing & analyzing without getting too involved. Or it can be relaxed and keeping the chill to yourself. Or it can be a kind of an ice that gets broken every spring and is on-and-off, not even a sign of a deeper problem, just something to switch into and out for protection.

 

[Ronin]

Are any of you aware of having parts that think they are other people? Most particularly, your abusers?

-Ish.

Mostly not even as specific parts, as I keep very sure to get rid of them & where I can reminders of them long term, but a thinking pattern and seeing the world through what I learned of those people, at times. Gets worse with the poor sickos I spent months or years with, and I need to stop the slide as soon as it comes because it's very denigrating overall sense of identity and can spin me into bad paranoia.

 

[BlueOrange]

I don't have any confidence that I can get rid of my parts in any lasting way. I focus on relating to them positively, which can be extremely difficult.

 

[scout86]

My T says he doesn't think you can, exactly, 'get rid of parts'. He does think, though, that they can be given updated information so they function in a better way, and they can get new 'jobs'. Hopefully BETTER jobs.

 

[sun seeker]

Yes, that's my understanding too. All our parts are there for a reason. They can change, but not be gotten rid of. I was really taken aback to find I have a part, or several actually, that think they are one of my abusers. But then when I started looking for information I found this is not unusual. It makes sense: child is abused. Child creates a part modeled on the abuser. That part serves as an internal censor, as if the abuser lived in his/her head (uggh) giving advice on how to behave to make further abuse less likely. In a convoluted way these parts are protectors. On the down side, the internal model of the abuser continues this task long after it has stopped being necessary.

When I first became aware of this, I also saw exactly how this part of me came to be. The split happened at the height of one of my childhood traumas. I have the feeling I need to do lots of work processing that moment. Then, yes, hopefully I/we can find those parts something more up-to-date to do.

 

[Hope4Now]

Are any of you aware of having parts that think they are other people? Most particularly, your abusers?

Yes. I have a lovely group I call "the mean ones."
Our systems create parts called introjects. We can create positive introjects as well as the more extreme destructive ones. My mean ones are introjects of my parents, and several spinoffs of those. Yes, lovely, as if the two actual parents weren't enough. But something happened fairly recently when my therapist showed up in my internal world and one of my parts had a conversation with him. And it was really helpful. It freaked me out because I thought, omg another part?! But what my system did was create a positive introject. I suppose this is what children with secure attachment do with their caretakers. The mind is a bizarre thing.

I too have learned that, eventually, we can help those "mean ones" take on other roles, free them up from their jobs that they don't like doing anyway. I've had some contact with the mean ones when it has been clear they don't want to be doing what they're doing. But somehow I can't seem to move them toward something better, so am mostly working on containing them. At which I am sometimes successful, sometimes not.

 

[shimmerz]

I feel like this is where our inner critics come from. And why they are so hard to interrupt. It makes sense to me that our inner voice would be warning us as to how to behave.achieve.expectations etc in order to live life in a 'safe' way. And Safe, to me, is the root of those with PTSD are driven by.

But what my system did was create a positive introject.

Yes, and I believe that that is why my grandpa was so good for me. He really taught me how to 'be nice' and when i work on something I try to pull out the aspect of me that relates to him to interrupt the negative kak.

 

[shimmerz]

Just thought I would pass on this link which includes information on structural dissociation. You have to read down a bit to find it, but it seemed helpful to me.

Also it speaks about using imagery, which I have found to be incredibly helpful along the way in kicking symptoms.

The use of imagery in phase 1 treatment of clients with complex dissociative disorders

 

[ILoveLife]

Are any of you aware of having parts that think they are other people? Most particularly, your abusers?

Yes. Inner critics, clearly. Past acquaintances too, judgmental folks. As for the abusers, I often feel critized for being bisexual by one of my abusive exs. The critic of my intelligence is my mother, as well as the way I dress, think or things I say. There's a rebellious part of me that often reacts as doing exactly what is being critized as an impulse... lol Got me some problems early in life.