Struggling, Need To Speak To T :-(

[lilstar]

I really need to speak to my old T she emailed me yesterday and said she'd ring me today. Well i'm still waiting and still struggling :-(
Why say it if shes not gonna ring, I feel really let down and not important enough for people to bother with me.

 

[Iam]

HI lilstar,

Did she give you a specific time that she'd call? Is it possible that she is in sessions with clients and plans to call you at the end of her day? It so hard to wait when we need help right now. It can make the waiting feel like forever. I do hope she has called you by now or at least soon. Hang in there lilstar.

 

[lilstar]

No she just said today, well its just after 11pm so I guess it wont be today :-(

 

[lilstar]

Still not heard anything from T, I rang alittle while ago and they couldnt get through so she was in a session. I left a msg and still nothing. Im struggling pretty bad.

 

[anni]

Try writing out everything you need to say, Star, to just fill the immediate need. Sometimes just getting it out makes some sort of flow for yourself. It's not the same as having the support of the T, but it's better than having it perculating in your head like it is at the moment. You could post it here, or just keep it in a journal, whatever works for you. I'm sure she does care, so hold on. Regardless of who is listening, I hope you know you do matter hugely.

Take care, ok?

Anni

 

[lilstar]

Argh, I cant cope.

 

[anni]

Maybe try, if you have the energy, to sort of get out of your head-take a break in there if you can. Some distraction-anything at all, no matter how silly as long as it's not thinking. I know I'm not being clear, it's just that sometimes the head gets really, really fried from trying SO hard-checking out via a nap, mindless movie, silly magazine-anything. Meditation comes in all forms, too, if one Googles-it can be a good answer to those 'I can't cope' times. Well, at least an answer, since nothing feels all that good, I know.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi lilstar, I think anni's suggestions are excellent ones.

Something I have noticed about myself: if I 'have' to reach out, even leave a message etc, I also feel lousy and second-guess myself, and end up with a lot of self-blame, or coming to the same conclusions you have mentioned- I feel very much a burden.
On the other hand, if I 'connect' and just 'ask' or talk and get feedback, it's not as Big a Deal and oddly enough I feel stronger and proud I had the courage to do so, I feel better about myself.

Being realistic, people (even T's) have lots going on, and might not even know how or what to respond. Yes, you 'may' be a burden etc,- (I very much doubt it, to your T), but far more likely is that not being able to connect and have feedback that it's ok to ask, the self-blame and negative thoughts are coming from within yourself and snowballing and telling you- 'confirming' if you will- your fears and confusion; it is very less likely that your fears are all founded. It's those emotions making it worse. You are just struggling- write it out, write here, google, etc.

Hope this makes sense.
-Hugs,
Meg