Hey y’all, I’m not great at these things but I’m not sure where to go. I have the “greatest hits” list of mental health problems and up until recently, 2019, I basically was planning my funeral vs any type of future. Then, after almost 3 dozen failed med trials since my teens I was able to (at the time it felt forced) start ketamine infusions when a family offered to help pay. Fast forward to more recently, I’ve not only gotten a job, I’ve had it for a year which was longer than anything I’d had before going on disability in 2013, and I then got my own apartment.
The apartment was my final ticket to showing people I wasn’t just some mental case anymore (don’t get me wrong, I’m still certifiable lol). But I was wrong to think I was actually toeing a line of sanity for once… after getting COVID the day I moved in, I had near non stop noise and no chance to even sleep to help recoup better/faster. And my symptoms are greatly impacted by loud noises, and bangs, all of which my upstairs neighbors do all hours of the day/night. If they’re up till 2am, so am I, and I’m always up around 6am when they wake up during the week. I asked them the first time in Feb at 1:30am to be quieter, to no avail. The second time, they stared me down in such a menacing way before finally just saying one word.
After that I went to smoke outside and a truck came out of nowhere, stopped right by me for no reason, then pulled forward slowly to the stop light at the corner as I walked back to the building before revving his engine and burning out his tires then speeding off. No one else was around and my ptsd is now super amped up. I’m staying with someone else tonight but I have a camera in my place, yes I know I’ve got a lot of issues I suppose, and I couldn’t tell if they were just stomping extra loud or also banging on my door.
So I apologize this wasn’t much of an introduction as perhaps an idk… last ditch effort for someone to understand, my family does not :/
The apartment was my final ticket to showing people I wasn’t just some mental case anymore (don’t get me wrong, I’m still certifiable lol). But I was wrong to think I was actually toeing a line of sanity for once… after getting COVID the day I moved in, I had near non stop noise and no chance to even sleep to help recoup better/faster. And my symptoms are greatly impacted by loud noises, and bangs, all of which my upstairs neighbors do all hours of the day/night. If they’re up till 2am, so am I, and I’m always up around 6am when they wake up during the week. I asked them the first time in Feb at 1:30am to be quieter, to no avail. The second time, they stared me down in such a menacing way before finally just saying one word.
After that I went to smoke outside and a truck came out of nowhere, stopped right by me for no reason, then pulled forward slowly to the stop light at the corner as I walked back to the building before revving his engine and burning out his tires then speeding off. No one else was around and my ptsd is now super amped up. I’m staying with someone else tonight but I have a camera in my place, yes I know I’ve got a lot of issues I suppose, and I couldn’t tell if they were just stomping extra loud or also banging on my door.
So I apologize this wasn’t much of an introduction as perhaps an idk… last ditch effort for someone to understand, my family does not :/