This really isn't PTSD related, but this is the only forum I'm on and wanted to get some anonymous opinions on this situation. Right now I am very frustrated with my adult daughter, but at the exact same time I have deep compassion for her and her condition. I was looking forward to her coming to visit for a few days and then attending a family function. She lives 1000 miles away. She was to leave soon, and now she says she can't come and the excuses are bullshit. She has been very excited about making the trip, her joy at the anticipation was real and I was happy she could do it.
The truth is she has moderate ocd, moderate to severe social anxiety, and she has no self-awareness.. I'm so proud of the hard work she's done with exposure-response, as for the past several years she can function, keep a home, go to the store, and ride her horse. (no job, though) The problem is she projects her social, relational phobia onto others a lot. I wish she would just own her disorder. Instead there's a lot of rejecting of not only family members, but 98% of the human population. The family members she rejects are actually the healthiest and loving and kind bunch of people. The true perps are dead or don't come around. So she projects that these kind people have this or that negative attitude toward her, when they do not. The attitude is actually coming from my daughter toward them. She rejects first, then says "see, they don't like me," so she feels justified in not participating. It's classic "come here, go away behavior." She wants friends and social activities, tries to set it up, then backs away saying everyone is against her. (this is her pattern since age 13). It is very evident to everyone, and it is extremely bewildering to most people because they don't understand her disorder. It's all terror based and irrational. Half the time it doesn't even make sense, thus the bewilderment.
I love my daughteer and she is actually delightful to be with. (when she is relaxed and not symptomatic, but I still like being with her even when she's symptomatic) After typing this out, I am not angry with her at all I'm just really, really sad.
I was feeling this anger come up listening to her make excuses to not attend and cancel her flight, and the excuses really are a cover for the stupid disease. I hate it. I can understand what she is going through though as I have PTSD which would cause me to make excuses to not attend things because it takes so much energy just to deal with PTSD. It's the same with OCD. So much energy to deal with all those obsessive fears theres none left over for traveling. I understand. But I'm still frustrated. Why did I get my hopes up and think she'd actually be able to come visit? I need to stop thinking she is able to do things when she is not able to. It is not her fault.
Thanks for listening,. I am really angry at the disease that keeps me from enjoying the company of my daughter. And it keeps her from making friends and spending time with people.
The truth is she has moderate ocd, moderate to severe social anxiety, and she has no self-awareness.. I'm so proud of the hard work she's done with exposure-response, as for the past several years she can function, keep a home, go to the store, and ride her horse. (no job, though) The problem is she projects her social, relational phobia onto others a lot. I wish she would just own her disorder. Instead there's a lot of rejecting of not only family members, but 98% of the human population. The family members she rejects are actually the healthiest and loving and kind bunch of people. The true perps are dead or don't come around. So she projects that these kind people have this or that negative attitude toward her, when they do not. The attitude is actually coming from my daughter toward them. She rejects first, then says "see, they don't like me," so she feels justified in not participating. It's classic "come here, go away behavior." She wants friends and social activities, tries to set it up, then backs away saying everyone is against her. (this is her pattern since age 13). It is very evident to everyone, and it is extremely bewildering to most people because they don't understand her disorder. It's all terror based and irrational. Half the time it doesn't even make sense, thus the bewilderment.
I love my daughteer and she is actually delightful to be with. (when she is relaxed and not symptomatic, but I still like being with her even when she's symptomatic) After typing this out, I am not angry with her at all I'm just really, really sad.
I was feeling this anger come up listening to her make excuses to not attend and cancel her flight, and the excuses really are a cover for the stupid disease. I hate it. I can understand what she is going through though as I have PTSD which would cause me to make excuses to not attend things because it takes so much energy just to deal with PTSD. It's the same with OCD. So much energy to deal with all those obsessive fears theres none left over for traveling. I understand. But I'm still frustrated. Why did I get my hopes up and think she'd actually be able to come visit? I need to stop thinking she is able to do things when she is not able to. It is not her fault.
Thanks for listening,. I am really angry at the disease that keeps me from enjoying the company of my daughter. And it keeps her from making friends and spending time with people.
