Healthymama
New Here
Hi! I read through a couple of posts and sounds like I’ll be asking a similar thing, but I think I just need to let it out.
My husband hurt his hand in a traumatic accident 2 years ago and lost a finger. It was a very difficult surgery with only local anesthesia and I was in the room and saw the whole thing. Since then he has not been the same.
Lately it has gotten so bad that I am in the verge of calling someone to admit him. He constantly accuses me of cheating, hears men’s voices in the house when we’re on the phone. I am working from home and kids are at school, I am literally alone here most of the day. A couple of weeks ago he attacked me and hit me because he found out I was voice recording one of his many screaming/accusing incidents, it was the first time. He broke my phone into a million pieces and dragged me all of the house. He is thanking me profusely for not calling the police. He does not have good days anymore, at all. He is constantly accusing me of random things that I can’t even think of doing, he screams, he is rude and name calls. He told me many times that he wants me to suffer and understand how he feels. He blames me for the whole marriage. I am not going to say I was a perfect wife, but I’ve never stepped out on our marriage and never will, I used to like alcohol maybe a little too much, but I stopped drinking years ago. I was and still am learning how to be a wife and a mom of 2 young kids.
He is online therapy 1-2 times a week, but it is not helping at all. He needs a doctor, I know it. But he refuses to go because he would lose his job. He works with heavy machinery and I am afraid he’ll accidentally hurt himself or something, or even hurt others on accident. I’m ready to sell out expensive house and move to a small place, I’m ready to be the only one working while he is recovering. But he won’t go. It is affecting his work, he is missing deadlines and I have tried and tried to help him, but even today I know he had a deadline to get stuff done by 8am and he has not done it and it is already after that time. If he continues this way, he will lose his job instead of just quitting due to health condition or maybe even taking FMLA, and that will be even worse.
I am scared, exhausted, the kids are starting to see his behavior and ask questions. I do not see a way out at all, when I tell him I will leave if he does not see a doctor, he starts telling the kids that everything is his fault and daddy is bad. My poor babies.
I of course love my husband dearly and I know he needs help, but he won’t do it. What do I do, please help me.
My husband hurt his hand in a traumatic accident 2 years ago and lost a finger. It was a very difficult surgery with only local anesthesia and I was in the room and saw the whole thing. Since then he has not been the same.
Lately it has gotten so bad that I am in the verge of calling someone to admit him. He constantly accuses me of cheating, hears men’s voices in the house when we’re on the phone. I am working from home and kids are at school, I am literally alone here most of the day. A couple of weeks ago he attacked me and hit me because he found out I was voice recording one of his many screaming/accusing incidents, it was the first time. He broke my phone into a million pieces and dragged me all of the house. He is thanking me profusely for not calling the police. He does not have good days anymore, at all. He is constantly accusing me of random things that I can’t even think of doing, he screams, he is rude and name calls. He told me many times that he wants me to suffer and understand how he feels. He blames me for the whole marriage. I am not going to say I was a perfect wife, but I’ve never stepped out on our marriage and never will, I used to like alcohol maybe a little too much, but I stopped drinking years ago. I was and still am learning how to be a wife and a mom of 2 young kids.
He is online therapy 1-2 times a week, but it is not helping at all. He needs a doctor, I know it. But he refuses to go because he would lose his job. He works with heavy machinery and I am afraid he’ll accidentally hurt himself or something, or even hurt others on accident. I’m ready to sell out expensive house and move to a small place, I’m ready to be the only one working while he is recovering. But he won’t go. It is affecting his work, he is missing deadlines and I have tried and tried to help him, but even today I know he had a deadline to get stuff done by 8am and he has not done it and it is already after that time. If he continues this way, he will lose his job instead of just quitting due to health condition or maybe even taking FMLA, and that will be even worse.
I am scared, exhausted, the kids are starting to see his behavior and ask questions. I do not see a way out at all, when I tell him I will leave if he does not see a doctor, he starts telling the kids that everything is his fault and daddy is bad. My poor babies.
I of course love my husband dearly and I know he needs help, but he won’t do it. What do I do, please help me.
