Struggling with the knowledge that i’m not unique

[Cactus Bloom]

You love hugs?

I’ll send you some too.

I love hugs and I definitely will grab yours really tight. If you are able I send great big ones to you too:hug:

 

[ladee]

This is a very kind and supportive place to be. It's nice to see you meeting people and getting to know us a little before putting your life out here... building trust. A very important part of recovery... many wonderful people here... Lots of things to read and learn about... glad you found us, now you are one of us !!! We don't have to be alone on this very difficult journey.. !! Gentle hugs.

 

[Cactus Bloom]

This is a very kind and supportive place to be. It's nice to see you meeting people and getting to know u...

It’s great to be part of something but also difficult sometimes. There’s been times when I am so caught up in my excitement or dissociation to share something or leave a comment then later read it and realize it’s a trigger response and hope I don’t ever hurt anyone’s feelings and especially when I do something that at the moment I am inadvertently breaking the rules set up for this site. I have made notes about the rules so I try to make sure I don’t forget them but with so many things, my brain shuts down and the only thing that exists is what I am writing and post without pulling myself out of the Dissociative state. I’m trying my best though. I feel like one of my biggest strengths is empathy and giving of myself. There is this poem I’ll have to find that I had found that explains how painful it is for me if I cannot give. I’m being denied my need to show love.

Right now, I spend hours on Pinterest finding funny quotes to text to my dad and siblings every morning and they love it but then there’s times when I get so overly excited to share some really cool and interesting things with some of them only to later be crushed because I didn’t receive a text back from one of them. But, I also know they are all very busy with their daily lives with their jobs and their own families that I understand that it’s not reasonable for me to always expect a reply and especially not the same level of excitement I have about many things. So, I will withdraw from them for awhile because even though I know all of this logically, I still have those needs and I do get hurt but it doesn’t last long. I’ve had to make posters to have all around me that say DO NOT TEXT! so I remember. The excitement to give is like how a 4 year old would feel on Christmas morning waiting to open gifts but it’s not me wanting to open gifts, it’s my giving that causes all the excitement. My family does understand this about me and they love me for it except when I blow up one of their phones with cute pictures. Thank goodness the posters work most of the time but no one has ever gotten upset at me and if I apologize to one of them they don’t think I’m a bother at all. It’s my own perception that I am. I just hope I don’t upset or say the wrong things here.

Thank you so much for your care and the time you have taken to write to me. It means so much to me:)

 

[ladee]

No telling how many of us have posted and don't have a clue what we said... happens all the time.. so don't worry about that... yes we have rules, but they are not so stringent that we can't follow them... and Admin and mods are very understanding about us learning our way around the forum...

You don't sound like you would verbally go after someone, and that's one of the things that is not tolerated here... but I can't see you doing that... and even if you did, you might receive a warning, to take a time out, but this is a very understanding place to be... And each of us here, are responsible for our own feelings... we don't have to walk on eggshells, just simply be courteous and respectful... just as we will be with you... So, try your best to take that stress off your list of things to be worried about...

You are here for you. To share if you want or need to.. just take your time... it takes awhile to learn how it all works here... just be you...
Gentle hugs..

 

[Mee]

Fionas74;
I am here to get as strong as I can and that includes dealing with triggers. Some of my triggers are weird. I dislike triggering others but have LONG understood things I find upsetting are fine for others and things I find ok can be deeply troubling for someone else. I think part if being healthy and adult is vopinv with thus, and part of being adult with PTSD is relearning to cope with this again :) if I am over triggered it's my responsibility to switch off.

I was finding avoidance and trying to continue was not helpful, so while my life us more restricted right now I am certainly coping with triggers better; though if feels a little like self assault sometimes instead of self protection.

Maybe you have some unusual, even... Unique ;) ways if dealing with things. :)

 

[Cactus Bloom]

Fionas74;
I am here to get as strong as I can and that includes dealing with triggers. Some of my trigg...

Thank you:)