On a slightly related note... I could have saved myself close to $80,000 in my divorce, if the initial social worker who decided whether or not there was merit (domestic violence) had any understanding of military culture. I didn't find out for nearly a year, from the LCSW who made the final determination was that the initial read was that I was lying (despite X-rays, witnesses, and a confession by my ex). She was confused how, with piles and piles of evidence & multiple confessions by my ex early on in the process, how it had gotten so far as to come to her desk over a year later. Apparently, I "read" wrong / like a man? "But that's to be expected. You're prior service military. It's perfectly natural for you to be angry, rather than afraid. And to be direct, concise*, minimize, and appear self confident. Whomever initially handled your case was an idiot. I'm sorry. We don't see a lot of military through here, much less female military." :banghead:
Same token, spent 2 years homeless rather than in a DV shelter for even a night, for the pure and simple reason that one has to be "afraid" to be considered for admission. I'm not afraid. I never have been. He's tried to kill me a few times, came close once or twice. Had been stalking me that entire time period leading up to it (when I still had housing / why getting housing in my name was pointless; he broke in 2-3 times a week, kept canceling my utilities, so no heat or power in winter for 2 years, etc.). He makes my life hellish, but the last thing I am is afraid of the prick. Infuriated? Sure. Afraid? No. Could I really USE the help a DV shelter could provide (safe housing, name change, bills not in either name, employment under the radar, counseling for my son, etc.)? Yes. But my son and I are disqualified for it, because I'm not afraid of my ex. Shrug. Oh well. It would be nice to have expert help in dealing with this asshole, but it's not the end of the world. There's a lot worse out there than being stalked & broke & homeless. And I may not be that smart, but one of these years I'll figure it out.