Suggestions requested for Service Dog and public

[Recovery4Me]

Once it was Earth Shattering to admit that I had PTSD. However, as I accepted the good, bad and the ugly - I became freer but chose whom I told. Even around my residence with over 160 boundary busting seniors, only 2 know. But in the next two weeks, I have medical appointments and will bring my dog to the center.

This will be one of those times that the security guards will try to stop me (at first doing their job). The people in the waiting room may inquire. I will be on public transportation getting there... my disability will be announced as a member once said.

So I am asking for how you personally handle the public without stressing, feeling embarrassed and being normalized during the public entry places, please. I wish to be as emotionally regulated or prepared as possible to slow down any hijacking adrenaline. Thanks for any consideration and shares in advance.

 

[Sideways]

When I’m looking to stop conversations? Like in waiting rooms and I’m already stressed enough? My response is simply “He’s for a medical condition”. End of discussion. Because, of course he is!

If I’m in a situation where I can walk away, or I don’t mind extra questions? “He’s for ptsd”. But usually, that’s where I’ll end the discussion anyway.

Having a service dog doesn’t mean you’re required to waive the confidentiality we all have over our medical conditions:)

 

[Recovery4Me]

@Sideways Thanks for your time. Speaking of which, did it take time to learn to field the questions or random 2cents without feeling guarded or defensive? Sometimes we can armor up.

[ I have noticed an increase of my stifled anger due to the unsolicited advice from the older male non-pet-owning residents... concerning my dog. *Ps I have an appointment with my T to work on that as I hate passé gender entitlement lingering from yesteryear.] just saying increases my stress

 

[Sideways]

Yes, it did. Tolerating other humans in my personal space, never mind interacting with them, isn’t my strong suit!

Interestingly, how easily (and politely) I manage these interactions is a direct reflection of my mental state, and varies considerably. When I notice myself getting alarmed or frightened looks from people when I’m responding, that generally means it’s time for me to get my stress levels down!

Dogs are bright enough to pick up over time if you find stranges approaching distressing, and will respond accordingly, so me and dog go did weekly “exposure to approaching strangers” training for over a year, simply standing at the door of my grocery store, dealing with the endless enquirers of strangers coming and going from the store. It was helpful for both of us, and definitely gave me much more confidence about what approach works best for me.

 

[Ronin]

(Not a dog owner much less a SD one, but I’m going to take the angle of How do you handle being highly visible when in public, and not really interested in the attention.)

Remembering curiosity is better than hostility may help? (and for hostility, you’re ready // both you and the whole life under your belt, and your doggo.)

Similarly, the gen public ain’t that minding honestly. Just people curious by sights, is all, more likely worried about their own jobs and groceries and where to get gas that day and if the kids will again throw a fit over broccoli or it’s carrot today.... than you and doggo.

Guards? Medical apt booked, and the dog is for the medical condition, that’s all of it. You’re not a threat walking in, you’re entirely normal sick peoples going to a doc, the doggo is just a part of getting the doc done. :)

 

[Recovery4Me]

Similarly, the gen public ain’t that minding honestly. Just people curious by sights, is all, more likely worried about their own jobs and groceries and where to get gas that day and if t

Solid point! Thank you Ronin! My Son actually tells me the same thing, but somehow I end up in the midst of stew. (One arm open hug ?

Interestingly, how easily (and politely) I manage these interactions is a direct reflection of my mental state, and varies considerably. When I notice myself getting alarmed or frightened looks from people when I’m responding, that generally means it’s time for me to get my stress levels down!

Hopefully ^^ this quote is not too many words for admin. It was just an exact copy of what my reality is like!
I think that is the rub for me, as I am going outside more (part of the purpose of the dog, yes?) my stress is increasing. I am hoping that with time or exposure that my body will slow down the hyper vigilance but for now, I feel off center frequently during the approach by the homeless groups or strangers.

Your post allowed me to feel it is OK to not be constantly centered during this process. Thanks.

 

[Sideways]

I am hoping that with time or exposure that my body will slow down the hyper vigilance but for now,

Right. Remember that at one point, you weren’t doing this. Now you are. So it makes sense at first it’s going to be outside your comfort zone. Gradually, as it becomes your new normal to go out and do this suff with doggo, it will get easier.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Thanks for the kind support @Sideways throughout my furbaby addition! May the energy return in loving kindness during your challenges. Take care.

 

[Freida]

One of the first things my trainer told me was "You will never be unseen again, so you need to find a way to deal with it."

She wasn't kidding. People spot you from a mile away. On top of that SD is a very unusual looking dog - so EVERYONE notices him. It really freaked me at out first. I get stopped about every 15 feet by someone asking about him (some co-workers didn't believe me until we all went to a conference together and it took us twice as long to get from point a to point b :laugh:)

She said "be polite and keep walking".

I came up with a few standard responses
He's a medic alert dog
He warns me when I need my medication
He blocks people from running into me (stands in front of me or looks behind me)
That usually stops people from asking more ....plus I keep walking so they have to catch up with me :)

Most of the people I run into are honestly curious about him and what it's like to have a service dog. Hubby runs interference for us a lot when I'm having a bad day, and I've noticed that when I'm really bad no one comes near me -- I must put out a Don't Come Near Me vibe or something!

One thing I've started doing is letting businesses know they can kick us out. Right there in the ADA law it says that if the dog is acting up (barking/growling/lunging/peeing/etc) the handler can be asked to remove the dog "until it is under control" I've found some mangagers who have been very grateful to learn that. The fake dog thing is out of control, so a "real" handler who will have a conversation with them is very appreciated.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Most of the people I run into are honestly curious about him and what it's like to have a service dog.

Thanks Freida! That post was very useful to me. Tell me though, please, how do they know your dog is a service dog? Does s/he wear a jacket?

I haven’t the guts to do that as of yet: I have the tags&papers. I figure in some public places (such as the medical campus, public transportation ) it will be obvious so I am trying to be prepared. I am seeing my T concerning the exposure therapy lol! However, for some reason everyone is curious about him. Perhaps people just love dogs.? At least that is positive thinking, yes?

Last night he alerted me to a neighbor’s smoke alarm. Woke me up in the Am barking and the smoke was thick in our apt. I called the emergency numbers and they got it under control. He has been worth his weight in gold to me. So I want to be a good Mom and not cast off too much stress vibes, so he continues to be social.

 

[Freida]

SD is always in his vest when he's in public. Trainer insisted on that - and now that we've been out and about I understand why. He's going to draw attention no matter what if I take him into a public place. If he is wearing his vest people know why he's there. If he's not wearing it? Then people get pissy about me bringing my dog into the place (wherever it is) that shouldn't have dogs in it.

Cant remember if you are in the states, but there is no actual certification papers for a SD here. So those papers and tags mean nada. Another reason its much easier to put a vest on him and let people see him as a working -- less drama getting stopped and challenged for bringing a dog inside with a demand to "see papers." In the time it takes you to try to dig the papers out the people asking are already annoyed.. If that makes sense?

 

[Freida]

Perhaps people just love dogs.? At least that is positive thinking, yes?

This is actually true! People love to tell me how cute he is, or compliment how well behaved, etc. And more and more times I hear kids say "mom, we can't touch him. He's a Service Dog (capitalized! LOL)"
I've found most people are pretty friendly about him as long as they understand what he is doing there... sometimes too much! :banghead: :laugh: