Suicide

[erigby]

Thinking today.

Found out yesterday...that the job I have been trying to hold on to for the past 2 months...forsaking all other responsibilities to try and make sure I can at least do that...is no longer an option.
6 months and I have to be gone.
What the hell is the point anymore.

 

[NightSky]

I want you around here. You've been a help to me.

And that's obviously me just being selfish. But your voice and your experience are valuable. You are valuable. Healing is hard but you're not alone.

 

[Ronin]

No, today isn't a good day, and March isn't a good date either, that's f*ck all weather.

Six months? You can find so many jobs during then, the opportunities will present themselves, even in the shit economy there is, or you might be able to think of things that you can't, right now, to depression.

Things will come clearer, just hang in there. You matter, your presence matters.

The point is sticking around long enough to find the point without looking for the darn thing.

 

[OneToughCookie]

Please do not kill yourself. I'm not asking that for me, I'm asking that for you, as someone who has fervently wanted to kill herself in the past. Your mind is telling you lies right now. There's probably nothing I can say now about you getting better, there being more opportunities, and future chances to marvel at the amazing complexity and order
of a universe able to care about itself and feel pleasure and peace you never thought you could feel that won't be dismissed as hunky-dory nonsense. That's because you're seeing things with a very very dark lens due to depression, and I don't mean that as a criticism. You are so important and valuable. Please do not be violent to yourself. You deserve more. You didn't do anything wrong. There are so many treatment and lifestyle options I bet you have yet to try that can change your life forever (the Moodkit app which has been so helpful to me, safe electro-convulsive therapy, deep brain stimulation, support groups, greater support networks, etc.).
You are at the point where you really really need help. Your suicide risk is severe. Please call 9-1-1. I'll be here for you afterwards.
You may not believe it now, but your desire to die can change. Please hold on for just one more day, hour, minute, whatever you can manage. How can I best support you right now?

 

[NightSky]

I would like to know how I can support you, too. I'm here.

 

[Killashandra]

Hi erigby,

I haven't introduced myself, I'm killa. Hi :happy:

I have read some of your posts and your liked posts, and truly, today isn't that day. Nor would any other day. Your insight and comments have been very profound and shows much experience that could and would help alot of people here on this site. And also your real life too.

Life is hard I totally agree that things out of our control can be hard to handle and accept, but it's just a job. There are more jobs out there and probably better suited to you, who knows the next job you have may have many benefits you didn't see coming..

But that's the point.. who knows.. I'm sorry for the things you have been through, none of it is fair or right, on a personal note, my brother has tried to take his life a number of times now becasue he doesn't believe he is strong enough to keep going... but he is still here just... he has no one to turn to, but I remind him that I'm here not physically but mentally and virtually there for him, he lives 4 hours away and I'm too fragile to travel at the moment.

But what I'm saying here is we are here for you.. virtually to say the least. If you need us we are here. If you need to vent we are here you are not alone . And it seems you've made friends here so your definately not alone :barefoot: there is always hope. Even if we have to walk a mile through crap, there is always hope,

So I ask you one thing before you make your decision, go outside for a moment and take the time to enjoy something about life, weqther it be the wind or the snow or the way the flowers blossom, the sight of a woman fighting her children for attention... in all these things if you ca see the beauty of it. Don't focus on the trouble. Wish you could be here with me right now and I would show you the beauty of life and smell, I live in the country and today is a most beautiful day. It's warm, we're heading into fall in 2 weeks... the bugs are buzzing, the birds are working hard collecting unused fruit from the trees...

There is more to life than work. There is more to life than our trauma.

I really do wish the best for you

Killa :hug:

 

[VioletButterfly]

Be mindful of the never and forever lies that might be flooding your mind. Start planning, lining up employment history, resume, recommendations, Linked In profile (if appropriate), and working with a recruiter and/or start applying now. I've been and am in your situation. You can survive this.

 

[Astrid_Shadow]

I know you can do this. You're not alone. Six months you said? You have time so I know you can handle this. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. Hugs if you accept. I'm glad you're here.

 

[Deleted member 40217]

Feeling so defeated. I try to maintain some positivity but I'm fighting my brain. Trying to talk about my CSA but always end up disassociating, so embarrassing and depressing. I just want to give up

 

[Deleted member 40217]

Thinking today.

Found out yesterday...that the job I have been trying to hold on to for the past 2 mont...

Hope you are doing better

 

[VioletButterfly]

As I've just kindly been reminded, this comes in cycles. Hang in there. VB