Support thread for those with weight gain

Changing4Best

MyPTSD Pro
I bought a shirt in 3X size. It's a shirt that hugs me, and you can see this big tire around my waist. It looks awful! Also, I was looking in a catalog for something and discovered that everything in the whole catalog is too small for me!
 
It's been 26 days since I started Keto/low carb eating & intermittent fasting.

I've lost just over 6 pounds or approximately 3 kg & just over 1% BMI.

I'm not hungry at all. I fast 18 hrs a day - sometimes a little longer bc I forget to eat.

Side effects initially - not too many. The brain fog was irritating but has now passed. Leg cramps - particularly in the calves has been a bit difficult but also with a little bit of attention when they happen, quite manageable too.

Bloating - probably due to consumption of carbs has completely gone.
 

gealach

MyPTSD Pro
I'm thinking about maybe trying to get treatment for binge eating disorder. I've tried twice before, with no help received.

The first time was in 2016 when I first went off work (later diagnosed with ptsd, much much later). WCB sent me to some hack psychologist who so didn't understand ems, had no idea what to do with or for me, and flat out told me that paramedics don't behave that way (about the coworker workplace incidents that broke me). She didn't believe what I was telling her, labelled me uncooperative, and threatened me into taking an SSRI I was adamant I didn't want to take. When I brought up binge eating disorder, she told me that only anorexia and bulemia are real eating disorders, and since I wasn't purging I didn't have an ED and didn't need help with my eating. She wouldn't talk about it again, nor would she consult the dsm with me.

The second time was some year 2016-2018... I have a lot of blanks and memories are confused as to what happened in what order, and in what year. I was sent to a different psychologist, my 3rd I think at that point. About 2 minutes into the first appointment, he grabbed my file and silently read it in front of me (really he had already read my file, but had a point to make). Then he declared that I didn't have ptsd because "you weren't raped and you didn't almost die". He refused to read me the description of Crit A from the dsm (I already knew it, but I also had a point to make), and changed the subject when I asked about all of the incidents I hadn't yet been able to talk about in detail, but had mentioned to every psychologist and psychiatrist to that point... you know, the Crit A incidents. When I brought up the binge eating disorder, and how much weight I had gained at that point, he brushed it off as filling an emotional hole and never spoke about it again.

It's been 4.5 years since I first brought it up, looking for help. It's a huge issue in my life since the shite began and, unlike alcohol ( sober since June 2019), I don't seem to be able to kick this addiction on my own.

I need help, before I give myself high blood pressure, diabetes, and a heart attack. There are serious consequences to morbid obesity. *I can't sugar coat it, I'd just eat that too*
 
@gealach - research in respect of carb controlled diet. (Specifically low-carb/Keto and intermittent fasting).

You speak about wanting a diagnosis but that's only a small part of the whole picture.

Empower yourself with what you are eating and maybe why you're eating will become clearer, more within your grasp?

I have swung wildly on the weight pendulum. Some of it related to drugs due to ptsd. (If you're still on that med - it may be responsible for that ever hunger feeling though it is rarely appropriately adressed ?) Other times I attribute it to poverty/ emotional troughs/self-hatred/loathing etc etc

Until I started researching exactly what I was eating - I had no idea (sounds ridiculous now) that high carb foods spike insulin levels and push my body to build fat. And they kept me HUNGRY no matter how much I tried to reign that in and no matter how much I tried to reduce them.

Eating carbs (basically sugar) Keeps the hunger hormone high - and that drives your brain to push you to satisfy it. Learn how to tune down that hormone - the science says it can be done. It will steer you away from those chronic diseases you know you're in the zone to acquiring.

I'm not sure what you think a psychologist can help you with. Most ppl with eating disorders recover in part, to being educated about what they are eating and when. Without getting obsessive about it!

Self-hatred or self-loathing about your weight definitely will create emotional holes that you are likely filling with food, high carb food. It lights up our brains... Once you switch over to a low carb diet, Keto and or IF - all of that desire to eat, eat, eat disapears.. I'm not telling you lies. I only fell across it because I was researching anti-inflammatory foods and eating plans for something unrelated to weight.

If you can kick grog then you can research and forumulate a dietary plan (medically supervised or not) to re-capture the control over your weight that you want.

Find a gp who is educated about low carb/keto IF diets. They're out there and growing in number.

Look at Dr Michael Mosley - on yt; or several other UK Dr's with yt channels. You are a FR - you can understand science - do it!
 

gealach

MyPTSD Pro
I looked back at my posts, and never mentioned wanting a diagnosis. What I asked the psychologists for, while I was being investigated for ptsd, was help for a condition I had already identified as problematic and researched in professional resources (not Dr Google). I can read and apply the resources, I don't struggle with the big complicated medical words and concepts. What I needed was treatment. Because the ptsd investigation was a complete clusterf*ck of mismanagement on an epic scale (which wcb did eventually admit and apologize for), the eating disorder was lumped in there too and I got treatment for neither. Now that I think about it, I also asked for help with alcohol and that went nowhere. Since then, the ED has gotten worse, 4.5 years worth of worse.

Why am I thinking about looking for help again?
Because this isn't just poor eating habits, it long ago tipped the scale into clinical disorderland and possibly addiction, and I've reached a point (and am smart enough to admit) that my long term cardiovascular, metabolic, endocrine, hepatic, renal, and neurological health are at risk. ED, addiction, and health risks which require professional help, just like any other illness/mental illness/addiction that you've tried treating on your own and is getting worse. I've overcome alcohol misuse (twice) and other things in my life without professional help... ptsd wasn't in that category, and it seems that neither is this eating disorder. Good on me for recognizing that I need help with this one.

I find it interesting that binge eating disorder is conflated with a lack of self control and poor understanding of nutrition. This isn't just self indulgent overeating and consumption of junk food, not when it's crossed the border into disorderland. Nor is it something I can will away or just get over if I put my mind to it (yes I'm smart and amazing and can do anything I want to blah blah blah, but I've been here for 4.5 years now and have gained 80+ pounds, so how's that working so far?). Analogy: how many times has someone with ptsd/anxiety/depression/OCD/addiction been told to just put your mind to it, just stop doing it, just get over it? What are the success rates of that strategy? I've recognized that this crossed a pretty big line some time ago, and while my requests for professional help were handled shitmazingly unprofessionally in the past, it's time to try again.

I've studied nutrition, I know all those facts and figures and statistics. I can quote them in my sleep. I was a body builder, so again nutrition was a big part of that, as was counting macros (for every single thing that went in my mouth). As soon as I stopped counting macros (beginning of ptsd investigation) I was hardcore binge eating, and both extremes are exhausting and an unhealthy place to be.

...
 
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gealach

MyPTSD Pro
Part deux...

On the psychology side, yes triggers. I don't know if that applies, because this is an all day every day thing, no ups and downs, not an exacerbation, hence the professionals to help pick this issue apart. I've also wondered if there is a self harm component to this. Like some people cut, or pick, or pluck. I binge eat. Also psychologically, I tried hypnosis several times. Each time I found I was eating more afterwards, a lot more, but only noticed when the fridge was unexpectedly empty and my grocery bill was astronomical. I also wonder how much the ptsd I'm-not-in-the-future thing has contributed to this. I don't see myself in the future, and have trouble planning for the future (because it doesn't exist with a Me in it). I can manage this week, with difficulty and a scheduler with alarms. Next week, is problematic. 5 years from now, there is no Me. I have it in my mind, but can't articulate the connection between the ED and that thought process, so again bring on the professional brain combers. And now that I think of it, the ptsd induced anhedonia could be playing a role in there too: I don't enjoy the things I used to, I didn't enjoy the new things I tried, I don't enjoy body building, etc. I don't really enjoy the food, but I do get something out of eating, not enjoyment but something.

On the medical side, I've written a few times around this forum that I don't get full when eating (there are hormones and other processes involved in feeling full). My mother has mentioned that I was the same as a baby: never full, always wanting to eat, eating until I'd vomit then wanting to eat again. It's what I am experiencing now x4.5 years, minus the regurgitation. Not so much of an issue through childhood because of course as a kid my mom would regulate how much I'd eat. I was never full, always wanted to eat, never knew when to stop, but the excess food just wasn't accessible. As an adult I'm responsible for that regulation, so that missing "I'm full, I can stop eating now" cue/hormone/physiological process is proving to be an issue. Also medically, I am on a medication that has a side effect of appetite suppression, and is sometimes prescribed to help with weight loss. I haven't experienced appetite suppression or weight loss, even at an increased dose. I don't think people gain weight while on this med, or at least not a significant amount, but I have.

I have some insight into what's going on, but need some help to coalesce all of that ^^^ into something that means something. So yes, I am seriously thinking about, and have started researching, what help is available in my area, both psychological and medical. I don't want to deal with this for the rest of my life (aka the next week or two 🙄), I want it dealt with.
 
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Well, if you've got everything so seriously wrapped up I hope for the best for you and you do get professional help. Many many ppl struggle with obesity, eating, over-eating etc and do not have ED.

I never suggested you didn't need professional help btw. Nor that anyone with a bona fide illness (physical or mental) should be denied help.
I didn't suggest it was a lack of will power that has landed you in the situation you find yourself.
I didn't say you don't deserve a diagnosis - merely how far does that take you?

I did not suggest that you had a lack of knowledge and I certainly wasn't conflating anything.

So much of your response is defensive and to me that is you guarding a position you have taken - which you may be well entitled to do so - afterall I don't know your irl. But ponder for a moment with all of that knowledge you claim to have - what is stopping you from putting it into action? Why are you helpless to help yourself? What is it that you need to be told, what is it that must be explored or opened up, exposed that links your consumption of food and your inability to regulate that? Especially as this seems to go back to childhood.

Could it be a physical ailment rather than an emotional one? Why are the professionals telling you that you don't have an eating disorder. ED are not entirely about weight gain or loss - indiators therof perhaps but not the sole rung that a diagnosis is made on.

SSI's (some) can cause weight gain sometimes. You didn't specify? Using a drug that is meant to regulate depression or anxiety as a weight control mechanism isn't healthy anyway so irrelevant.
 

gealach

MyPTSD Pro
I don't mind having open and respectful discussions and debates, after all, no matter how thin you slice it there's always 2 sides, and some really interesting words and ideas have been shared over this forum and it's threads.

This thread was created for respectful support, discussion, debate, and information sharing about a particular topic. Respectful.

Even disagreement can be done respectfully.

I don't tolerate disrespectful sarcasm, belligerence, rudeness, ridicule, etc. It doesn't contribute to the discussion and derails a thread. It's just ^^^ that for its own sake.

Ignored.
 
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