General Supporting through nightmares

[dulcia]

My SO is a combat vet with PTSD. He seems to have nightmares 90% of the time. I am trying to find a way to support him in regards to his nightmares in particular. Sometimes he'll talk about them, sometimes he won't -- I don't really pry. Other than lending an ear when he does want to talk about them, are they any other ways I could support him through this? Any ideas? I can't imagine running on as little sleep as he does and I wish I could help him carry a little bit of that load. Seems stupid to ask, but I'm starting to realize it's a big part of his PTSD considering it's a near nightly occurrence.

 

[Sweetpea76]

That's a rough one. My vet seems to be cyclical with his. Some times he's worse than others. When he is feeling better he doesn't have as many, and he has said that he has a lot less than he used to before he was treated.

The VA used to medicate him specifically for nightmares with a drug used off label... and it had the side effect of wet dreams. He said it wouldn't have been so bad if the dreams were enjoyable :rolleyes:. Evidently it was all of the mechanics without the benefit of the actual sexy dream. He was also still having nightmares, so it wasn't worth dealing with the side effects.

I think he has just made peace with the fact he's going to have nightmares. He doesn't talk about them much. I can tell when he's having one though. Sometimes if I hear him start making noises in his sleep, I'll roll over or "cough". He's so hyper vigilant it wakes him up immediately.

 

[Never_falter2]

Maybe you could help him find out what makes his sleep better or worse. My husband has a pretty strong reaction to caffeine. It gave him hypervigilance and nightmares. Unfortunately he was addicted to it. Support him to drop habits like this if he has one.
Some people have bad reactions to eating too much in the evening, not working out enough, working out too much in the evening.
There are some scents which are recommended for sleeplessness and nightmares such as orange peel. Even if it does no help he knows you care.

I think you might not always be able to help him but you will be able to show him you are there and that he is not alone. Knowing someone cares about them is sometimes the best medicine for our guys. If he is not feeling fit because he did not sleep much, show him you don't care and think he is cool anyway, tell him how much you like being around him, maybe help him with one of his chores.

Some guys do not want their woman to worry about them. They just want to be strong for them. In that case it is good not to make to much of a fuss. So while showing him you are always there for him do not go "OMG, poor spouse, that must be horrible. Oh, I must safe you". Not saying that you are doing this. Not sure if your guy is one of that guys.

 

[Never_falter2]

Another thing that might or might not help. Some vets start disliking their beds because they associate it with their nightmares and if they are laying in their bed they EXPECT having nightmares which makes it difficult for them to relax which results in more nightmares. In this case it might help if he sleeps outside his bed for a while. Yes, I know that it sounds odd but might help.
Also a fidget spinner might help, so he can fidget before going to bed.