Survival Sex

[shimmerz]

it takes months to get a response, often here the first response is no (except in rare cases) and always has to be appealed which takes another few months

Realistically this can take 2 years or more. Been there, done that. Much experience with this one.

It sounds like you are looking at options and I commend you for that. You so see how and why people are concerned for you though Mytai? Why we are hoping to help you see alternative actions?

 

[mytai]

@shimmerz I do see why people are concerned. I appreciate the help looking for alternatives, some I have already looked into, and there were a few that I hadn't thought of trying and will.

 

[shimmerz]

the one job I found that gave me a chance let me go because I ruined their reputation by being assaulted on the job

Sorry, I don't mean to hijack here, but what happened to the assaulter here? Is there an option to get the Victim Compensation Board in Ontario involved?

Just asking, not pushing. I have read your prior posts so I know you are working on alternatives.

 

[joeylittle]

@mytai i might have missed it - but you say your options are disability, bankruptcy, or survival sex.

What about other jobs?

No, they probably will not pay as much as quickly as prostitution -
But generally the worst thing that happens when you extend terms of a debt is you end up paying more interest.

Have you truly exhausted other
earning options?

 

[mytai]

what happened to the assaulter here? Is there an option to get the Victim Compensation Board in Ontario involved?

It was supposed to go to trial because I charged him (next week actually) but the police officer responsible for collecting evidence and speaking to witnesses didn't do his job fully. The police failed to get the footage from a second surveillance video that captured the unblocked view of the assault, and didn't talk to employees that spoke with the accused after the fact. I have applied through the compensation board, but I haven't heard back from them yet even to get a case number while they work on it.

What about other jobs?

I already work full time, I never stopped applying to higher income jobs when I was hired at my current workplace. I cannot take on two jobs, my lack of transportation, and work schedule won't allow it.

 

[illusionist]

If you feel you have no other option, have you considered work on sex phone lines?....have heard the money is good and you will not be putting yourself in direct danger. It is something you can walk away from once it has served its purpose and will have less of a long term effect on you.

 

[shimmerz]

I had a girlfriend who really enjoyed this job. Good thinking @richter scale .

 

[digger]

I cannot take on two jobs, my lack of transportation, and work schedule won't allow it.

Won't what your considering come with the same problems? Or are you planning to give up your full time job to do it?

 

[mytai]

@richter scale good alternative idea, also not illegal.

Won't what your considering come with the same problems? Or are you planning to give up your full time job to do it?

I don't know at this point.

 

[digger]

Also to me, and feel free to shoot me down for it but I'm going to say it anyway, the situation you're describing doesn't sound to me like it's about survival sex. It seems to be more about what you want than about meeting basic essential needs, or am I misuderstanding

From the wiki page you linked to
"Survival sex is prostitution engaged in by a person because of their extreme need. It describes the practice of people who are homeless or otherwise disadvantaged in society, trading sex for food, a place to sleep, or other basic needs, or for drugs"

Is school a basic need at this point? I understand that you want to go to school to improve your future prospects, but is it essential that you do that now if you can't afford to? As others have said, a record for prostitution is going to f*ck up your prospects a lot more and given the state of your mental health, I don't think it's just your career prospects it's going to f*ck up.

I also understand that you are in debt and there is the potential for this to turn into a survival situation, but it doesn't sound like your there yet (apologies if I'm misreading that). There are millions of people are, most of them wouldn't put this on the table as an option, that's not judging those that do, just pointing out that there must be other ways around it because it's not an option for most people. I'm sorry, but I dont actually believe that this is the only viable solution for you.

Have you sought any debt advice from anywhere? I'm not familiar enough with Canada to know about it there, but there are agencies and charities over here that would help you look through your options.

Is moving to cheaper accommodation an option and making cuts there?

I know you've mentioned disability and you've said it takes a long time to get processed. I'm not clear if you've actually applied for it yet?

 

[joeylittle]

So you work full time and the only additional work you can consider is sex work? @mytai, I'm not trying to be a jerk here - just trying to understand.

I'm assuming you are focusing on sex work because you believe it will make you more money and do it faster than any other kind of second job. Am I assuming correctly?

There are some legit work-from-home online jobs (generally doing search engine evaluation) that pay a really decent hourly wage and you can work as much as you can manage. You need an Internet connection and a computer. PM me if you want more info. I've used them as a second job while working full time, and it's not hard to squeeze in. It also is not going to put you at risk for disease, violence, trauma, or arrest.

I'm still not seeing why it is sex work, including phone sex, or nothing - unless you think you will make more money in prostitution.

I've done escort work. You might not be understanding fully how one gets paid. How does the company you have applied to describe the income?

 

[cherryblossom]

I totally agree with @digger and @joeylittle . It doesn't seem to me that you are considering a job in the sex industry as a way of surviving, more as a way of continuing to live to standard you are currently accustomed.

File for bankruptcy, reduce your outgoings, get a second job, and put going to school on hold, until you can legitimately afford to do it. Yes, it might take a couple of years, but that seriously has to be better than selling yourself for sex. If you go down that route, it will affect you forever, and it will also be hard to get out of.

From what I've read from you in the past, your mental health has been fragile, and I can totally relate to that. You've also had some horrendous experiences (again, I can relate to that). If anything those experiences will make you less able to cope with working in the sex industry, (I don't have experience of that), not better able to cope. Those sexual experiences will bring in some $'s and also take you back to all the horrors of previous assaults. Please don't put yourself through that, just for money.

Your health and well being is a million times more important than money. I totally get 'survival sex'. But I don't think your in a position where if you didn't sell your body for sex that you would be on the streets and homeless. It does sound like you see it as an 'easy' way to make enough money to continue your life plan. To go to school, and continue living life in the way that you do. It really won't be worth it in the long run.