Survival Sex

[mytai]

@richter scale thank you for sharing. I don't have words to express how I feel towards you for sharing that (nothing bad about you), just thank you for sharing. Sending hugs and love your way if you want to accept it.

 

[illusionist]

Mytai....I have never shared this before with anyone but feel so strongly about your desperation and don't want you, or anyone else putting themselves through the possibility of that happening, or worse. I so hope you find an alternative solution. Keep safe.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Yes, I've done it. Twice. Money exchanged hands once. There's even a thread about it on this site somewhere.

Would I do it again? No. I would look everywhere else for help before doing that to myself again.

 

[mytai]

@Ayesha I tried to look and see if I could find a thread addressing this before posting, but I wasn't successful. Maybe I wasn't searching for the right key words to get it to pop up.

I'm trying to look for all other options. I've exhausted most of my resources - my only two left that I'm aware of are filing for bankruptcy and applying for disability so I have enough income while at school to pay the debts.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think that you're incredibly naïve when it comes to being an escort. I'm not saying this to be rude, but I think that perhaps you need a wake up call? Maybe its this naivety that puts you into bad situations and leads to endless retraumatization?

Escort agencies are allowed to function as they advertise companionship. They don't advertise the sex part, at least not explicitly. Sex for pay is prostitution and that is illegal. The sex part is sort of understood... What you are doing is quite illegal and if you get caught, it will go on your record. Yes, you want to go to school and get a better degree, but that degree will be worth a lot less if you have prostitution on your record as many employers require background checks these days.

 

[mytai]

@Solara I'm not doing anything illegal as I have not done anything at this point. The only thing I've done is sent in an application applying to the agency, I haven't booked an interview, nor have I accepted a job or started working there. Again I am pursuing all other possible routes first.

 

[Born to Run]

I am quite new here and do not know you, but I wonder if you had a high paying job, what would be the problem to apply for jobs like you had? Apart from that is there not anything other available in the job department to you than this option? Second, I wondered about your priorities; I mean if I had such debts, I would not insist on going to a school that needs to be paid for, and I would postpone that school until I was on my feet again. It does not feel quite right to me.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Here is my thread:

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/have-you-ever-had-survival-sex.30867/

 

[Friday]

A factor that goes into my ability to heal is to feel financially stable, that doesn't mean having excess money to spend as I please, what that means for me is to not have this large amount of debt hanging over my head constantly threatening to tear me down.

I was fine working the way I am currently paying off the debts I knew about until the phone call today and realizing that I was misinformed and have a considerable amount more of debt than I was working to fix.

Going into -any line of work, really- in order to clear debts and become more financially stable is laudable.

I worry, though, that you're going into this with a victim mentality, in crisis & catastrophe mode... Instead of making a clear headed and rational decision. Clearing debt isn't about surviving. It's about getting ahead. Which -again- is both fine and laudable. There's nothing wrong with trying to get ahead in the world. But feeling forced is worlds away different from being forced.

There are consequences to all of our actions. If I had known I'd lose my house? (As I am in the process of; went from looking at making 400k off of it to losing 200k already paid into it. Bleck. Ah well.)... I wouldn't have gone & worked with my friend. Same way I won't go rob a bank, or date a wealthy guy / shoot for my MRS degree, or any of the other many, many, many options I have to gain quick capital. If I'd known I would lose custody? (As I did, and as a result of that my son has been badly abused by his father)... voulez vous coucher avec Moi I'd have been down booking clients on the next plane. Or simply shot the bastard, and be chilling in prison, but my son being safe would have been worth the price of it. Either course. Whether I was substantially well off or wearing orange.

If you go into prostitution there will be consequences. Some you'll like, like clearing debt. Others you won't.

If you don't go into prostitution there will be consequences. Taking longer to clear your debt (I have no idea how much you owe, if it was a 250k car it could be decades at minimum wage), is one of them. Having to learn to live with debt, may be a good thing, may not. Consequences on both sides of the fence. But there are 2 sides of it.

I have nothing against prostitution... But it seems as if you really, really do. Which is also fine. I simply urge you to take a step back, and breathe. You are in the exact same financial situation you were in yesterday. While this line of work is one option available to you... It's far from your only option. And as I read further, it seems like perhaps not the best option available to you.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@mytai The first man I did this with was kinder too me and didn't rush me. The 2nd man, knew I was being paid so just took me to a hotel, laid me on the bed and had sex with me. All for his own pleasure because that's what I was being paid for. That is something I still have to carry around with me and I think it would send a lot of sexual abuse survivors into panic mode.

Can you deal with that? You will met all kinds of people that want all kinds of things from you.

 

[mytai]

I am quite new here and do not know you, but I wonder if you had a high paying job, what would be the problem to apply for jobs like you had? Apart from that is there not anything other available in the job department to you than this option? Second, I wondered about your priorities; I mean if I had such debts, I would not insist on going to a school that needs to be paid for, and I would postpone that school until I was on my feet again. It does not feel quite right to me.

Problem being that I was lucky to find a job like I did without any years of experience, the problem I ran into since losing that job is that everyone wants 5 to 7 years experience with the degree I have OR a bachelors degree to back it up. I lucked out with that job, and I haven't been able to find one like it again.

My priorities of back to the fact that in order to get another job like I had, or better I need to go back to school and get my bachelors degree. It's not possible to get 5 to 7 years experience when no one will offer you a job to start gaining that experience. The only thing I have been "qualified" for since is a minimum wage job that doesn't pay enough to get myself out of debt. Would you tell a doctor who has to take out hundreds of thousands in loans to pay for school that they should wait until they can afford to go without putting themselves into further debt? I think not.

 

[shimmerz]

Mytai you have some members that have shared their experiences. You asked for a discussion about survival sex. So let's discuss. How do you feel about popotentially experiencing what these members did? How would that impact your finances/schooling?