Survived Deposition

[Nicolette]

Hi Gloria

A bit late and left of field but I have been through the legal system like you and my abuser got off on double jeaporady as the initial decision was appealed and me having been on pain medication for back surgery had the charge lowered to one the first judge dismissed - you can't be trialled for the same charge/crime twice so he got off even though the second judge did say he did abuse me. It was just the level of conviction which was the issue so no justice. :rolleyes:

Money was never a thought or a concern for me - I thought I would gain justice by him being punished but it wasn't to be and I don't think that his conscious even bothered him from the time he did it. I now live at peace with that is who he was and I can't change that but I can change my life - just like yours is turning around.

That being said, it was the best learning curve of my life and while he got off, and the police had their failings with evidence, I saw and experienced people genuinely trying to help me and be empathetic so I believe the system failed me and not the people on my side.

Also, it changed who I was and I am a stronger person for it. It took a few years to get over the fears and associations like the pajamas you write of but I echo the words of others that "some things happen for a reason". You say your life is better now and I know I would never be where I am without the changes it brought about in my life.

I too also have bad childhood memories which bring about other issues but now some people can touch and hug me like a friend with warmth and I can process it for what it is without the association that it meant or misinterpret it. My mum was the same of yours and she never cuddled, kissed me or told me she loved me. That's okay - I have friends, a son, a husband and extended family who do.

May you find peace and enjoy a better life now it is over.

I too would never take up a legal challenge again for the toll it took but then again at least I tried and I let it be known that it was not okay.

In closing I would actually like to share that I actually technically was a witness to my own abuse as the police charged my abuser so my situation was a little different to yours. I say that so that you know some police are really good kind people and they did try hard for me as I didn't want to press charges. :O_o:

 

[Gloria]

When the police were beating me up, they kept asking me if I hated cops - I was shocked! I never did hate them and still don't. The police station is only 1/2 mile from me and next to the petrol station so I chat and flirt with them all the time. Like Brat, I didn't get support because I was going up against the police (who are the good guys). The police are across the border in Wisonsin and I won't go to that county again if I can help it.

Thank you so much, Nicolette for sharing because I know you are in Australia and somehow it is so comforting to me to know that it isn't just in the U.S. and it's not just here but there are good and evil everywhere and from the beginning of time. I just try to be one of the good ones. You are such a blessing, Nicolette and through your pain and suffering you have helped so many people. I try to think the same thing about myself and much of the time I must believe it because I keep reaching out to people.

So I don't know what time is it is in Australia but I bet it's already New Year there??? May you and Anthony and your loved ones be blessed in the coming year!
Hugs,
Gloria

 

[Nicolette]

Happy New Year to you to Gloria.

I posted this in the New Year thread but I think it is befitting of where you are at...

 

[Gloria]

You are a doll, Nicolette!!! Yes, I burnt everything that reminded me of anyone or anything that I wanted to forget - got rid of my kitchen table even! I can't move like Pottershand but I changed everything in my life.

Lots of Love and Hugs! Do have a great New Year!!!
Gloria