Survivor Of School Violence

[supergirl]

I'm glad you are here Greenie! You really have found a great place for support and friendship!

 

[Yumeko-chan]

Greenie, what school did you go to? I myself am a Columbine survivor, and I admit I really struggled with the anniversary of that the other day, having gotten through the previous anniversaries just fine.

 

[greenie]

hapa gurl87,
thank you for your kind words and support. I am sorry you have gone through such pain. Schools are supposed to be safe and when they prove you different it is hard to trust anything. Hope you are healing.
Yumeko-chan,
I am a Columbine survivor too. Small world. Yeah, the anniversary was hard for me too. My best friend gave me no support what so ever, I'm single, and my living situation unstable so I was so incredibly uneasy and on edge this year. I remember I saw no future after everything happened. It was just cut short. I started having those same intense feelings again this year. How are you doing? I was class of 2001. You?

 

[Yumeko-chan]

I was Class of '01 too!! Wow! Really small world! Can I ask where you were? I was in the library. Escaped physically unharmed, but I certainly can't say that for my mind.

I wasn't raped, but I was subject to molestation for a period of three years starting several months after the shooting from a guy that I thought I liked (and he knew everything). So this year is hard for me because it'll be the anniversary of that as well.

 

[supergirl]

Yumeko-chan and Greenie,
I think it is so great that you two found each other here! It's such a comfort to find someone who has had a similar experience as you and even better to find someone who was there with you! I know great things will come from you two finding each other! Good luck to you both!

 

[red shoes]

Book Recommendation?

Greenie, Yumeko-chan and Hapa_gurl87,

I am so sad for you all and the trauma you have been through because your school was not a safe place...Greenie, you are so right about the students' need for a sense of security at school. May you all find the healing and sense of security that you need.

Greenie, I don't know if this is what you are looking for or not in the way of books, but I have found Post-Traumatic Stress for Dummies by Dr. Mark Goulston from UCLA, a great place to start learning about PTSD. You can find it on Amazon Books.

It is very easy to read and get the basics. You can skip around and look for different topics easily. The tone is very light and hopeful, considering the topic. And so far I haven't found a lot of stuff that is triggering, just a good overview of PTSD and how to get help. In fact, that's how I learned of this website!

I'm sure there are far more in-depth books on the topic, but I have found this book helpful because of the mental fog from both PTSD and Fibromyalgia I have had to deal with. Hope this helps :)

Sincerely,
red shoes

 

[greenie]

Yumeko-chan,
What a small world! That is crazy! I'm so happy to be talking to you! So what did you do for the anniversary? Did you go to the breakfast? It was really nice because they kept it secret and no media was there for once so it had a more private personal feel to it. I admit, then I went out with a bunch of people and drank but I was in good company this year.
I'm so sorry to hear about what happened after 4-20. It was so hard to comprehend a future and security after that I couldn't imagine how much more difficult things would've been enduring something like that. I went to college without ever really dealing with things and that is where things got ugly. Flashbacks, anger, drug addiction, failed relationships and friendships...its like you lose control of yourself ya know? Especially when someone makes you feel even less in control with rape and molestation.
Hopefully you are doing well. I hope to keep in touch :)

Red shoes,
Thank you for the suggestion! I will have to check it out. That actually sounds exactly like what I am looking for. Nothing too intense. I really appreciate your information.

Supergirl,
Thank you for your kind words :) May you be healing as well.

 

[greenie]

So I moved back to Littleton after being out of this place for eight years. I went off to college out of state so I could get away from all of the memories and media bull%$#@ here. Its weird for sure and was incredibly uncomfortable at first to come back. I'm getting a little more used to it but I think its best for me to stay away from triggors. I'm leaving as soon as I can find a place up north. We will see.

 

[jefferylee]

Hi Greenie :)

I'm pretty new to this site (found it through "PTSD for Dummies" too) but have had PTSD since childhood.Most of my teen years were so violent it still amazes me (at 56) that I survived.Between 15 and 19 I was shot twice,stabbed three times,had my skull fractured twice, 100's of stiches and numerous other broken bones...I very nearly died twice but I did manage to survive and I now think maybe it was so I could eventually tell my story in order to keep young people from going down the path I travelled.

A couple of books that have been very helpful to me are;

" I Can't Get Ovet It" by Aphrodite Matsakis

" Trauma and Recovery" by Judith Herman

" The Posttraumatic Self by John Wilson

You have definately found a great place here to learn more about PTSD and to keep healing from all the pain you've suffered :( By the way,another book I learned a great deal from and helped in my healing a huge amount (although not written in regards to PTSD, is called "A Testament of Hope". This is the collected writings and speeches by Dr. Martin Luther King and taught me so much about love, hope and how to live a peaceful life...very moving,powerful words (at least for me).

Keep Your Head Up and Keep Healing !!

Peace and Hope, jefferylee

 

[supergirl]

hang in there greenie and good luck finding a new place. :smile:

 

[greenie]

Thank you jefferylee...gives me hope to go on. Hope you are doing okay too. I hurt but I won't let eric and dillon win! My meds are working okay. hope you all are finding peace