Survivor's Guilt. Am I In The Right Place?

[josephangel00]

I just want to say I am a Air force veteran. I have done 3 tours in Middle East Asia.

For years I been dealing with this guilt that I had survived my service for this country . It doesn't occur everyday but whenever I see things in my life go wrong (instead of being the FML kind of person) instead I just get memories of guilt and emotions/thoughts of the following...

- "Why do I even bother trying to live a better life?"

- "Why did I bother to survive events when others should have and not me?"

- Having trouble adapting to changes I don't like.

- I start blaming myself for everything gone wrong


As I said it doesn't happen everyday but when it does i feel it's very extreme.

I do get easily defensive and easily agitated and it has costed me friendships, relationships, and even some part time jobs....

I currently just having trouble on how to deal with it. Any thoughts? I am in the right forums to discuss this?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Formany years I had survivers guilt with my family as I survived the best out of all them. I felt so much guilt that i allowed myself to be taken unfair advantage of. I never had anger problems with it. The guilt repressed and suppressed me and I would not speak up.

I hope you find your answers to why you deal with your survivors guilt the way you do. This would be a good thing to take into therapy and tell your therapist about.

I hope you find peace. I do not deal with survivors guilt anymore. I have not dealt for it for years. Good luck.

 

[LaurieJ]

josephangel00,
I am a survivor of a terrorist attack and go through the same things you do. I deal with the guilt of surviving daily. All I can say is to hang in there when these thoughts get intense. My thoughts usually pass over time. I've found that guided imagery helps a little. It's cost me a whole lot too and perhaps it will cost me my current job. Good luck and best wishes and remember that you are not alone in this.

 

[Whitneys story]

josephangel00,

And LaurieJ, Welcome to the Forum. I am sorry for why you are here but so glad you found this site.
I wish you both success on your journey!

 

[cragger65]

Amazing what we can survive. Cheers to all.

I grew up in a neighbourhood filled with violence and uncertainty. That was where my journey began, for the most part, in earnest anyway. As a teenager, I amusingly in a tounge-in-cheek kind of way referred to it as "The Little Bronx". I still have a small handful of good memories from that period of my life. They just get buried for a while.

There are many tools to be had that help. I think we've all found a few. They take practice and patience, but there is progress to be won and earned.