Taking A List To Therapy

[silk123]

So, would I look like a fool to take a list to therapy with things I want to talk about, especially grounding etc? I have been seeing my T for about 2 years but we haven't discussed this where is was a major thing with my previous T. I'm confused.

Also, my previous T used to stop me if she thought things were going too far where this isn't happening either. I do want to stay where I am but don't want to be taken in to unsafe places-I have taken a couple of overdoses whilst been under her but I did do the same with the previous one as well.

I don't want to look like an idiot.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I take lists to therapy often. You are paying for therapy so if you need to talk about something then you to remember it. Normally I hand my list to my therapist and he keeps it on track becasue he assumes and he is right that if I made a list then it means it needs to be talked about.

I always saw this as being prepared. You make lists for your grocery shopping right? Calendars too are a type of list.

Nothing wrong with lists.

 

[silk123]

I just cannot remember what is talked about from one week to the next-everything disappears! It's gutting when you try so hard week after week...any advice/ thoughts?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Write it down. I have a diary here and I write about each session. I will also remember things in bursts. My husband has found that I need a day or two to process and then I start talking about it. It's like some things I block out for awhile.

 

[Jane.l]

Maybe keep a journal ? I sometimes write down what I can remember ASAP after a session because like you I soon forget because there is so much going on in my head . I also write down thoughts I have in between sessions because otherwise they get forgotten and I often find it helpful to write out what I am feeling - I can make more sense of it . I sometimes write down what's going on in my head or a list of things I want to say to give to my T - partly because there is a possibility I won't be able to talk much if I am triggered and it gives him something to go on . I think a list is a good thing and shows a good positive attitude for trying to move forwards and taking responsibility for yourself .

 

[silk123]

I was thinking of that, I should have done it sooner.

 

[Mary]

Lists are great. Go for it!

 

[BloomInWinter]

Nothing we do in therapy ever makes us "look like an idiot" or "a fool."

Therapists simply do not have such judgmental thoughts of others (or themselves) like this. This self-abusive thought usually is an internalized criticism from an abusive authority figure from our childhood.

You are never a fool, an idiot, or any other negative labels might come up. Who originally said such terrible things to you? Feel free to eject them from renting any more free space in your head. Be gentle with yourself. It's your time there in therapy, and you get to decide how you want to spend the time.

A therapist is more likely to think "good, some communication is opening up" to a list. It's a good bridge, and very common.

You're doing great!

 

[silk123]

You are right about judgemental thoughts but they always stay there-probably due to the number of people who said them to me.
Thanks for the positive vibes, I appreciate it sometimes it is hard to see any positive things at all.
I will try to be brave and take "the list"-the word dreaded came to mind but I am trying to not think like that.

 

[silk123]

I'm scared. I have a couple of paragraphs but more came out than I thought, I think it's embarrassing and too shameful. I don't know if I have the confidence to do it, I want to, but all I do is read it over and over whilst getting more petrified.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Maybe you should just hand it to your therapist. Tell him/her that you are still nervous about sharing but that you wanted to at least write it down. If you don't get to everything in the session or don't want to talk about it then save it for next time.

 

[silk123]

I want to take it and maybe give it to her but what if she thinks it is too bad and doesn't want to see me anymore???? or even worse tells me to leave there and then?? I don't think I would be able to cope with that happening.