Talking About It Is Hard

[coolrunner]

I have pretty severe PTSD. Actually, I can't believe that I just wrote that, and that I'll be posting it online in a few minutes. This is incredibly hard for me to talk about. I think that's true for a few reasons. First, it's my personality. I'm a reasonably private person, and I don't like having other people know that something is wrong. Beyond that, talking about my PTSD requires me to think about the traumatic experiences, and I worry that when I start thinking about them, I won't be able to stop. It's a huge deal that I'm posting this.

 

[Mim28]

It is a huge deal and you should be very proud of yourself for opening up. I know how it is as I am very private too. I hope you have a supportive network of people in your life and a professional you can talk to.

 

[Deleted member 35429]

I remember this feeling so well. Once the flood gates are open its game on, but you will get control of the intrusive thoughts and intense feelings with practice. It's a painful journey but suppression and avoidance only last so long. At some point you will bravely face the music...sounds like that time is now. You will get through this intact and stronger. Believe it.

 

[Gs172003]

I understand. I hope you are getting help.

 

[Gs172003]

For me it is not only hard to talk about its hard to put words to. Is it the same for you?

 

[WillyKat]

That's a big step. Congratulations. See, it's not so hard when you know people will react appropriately.

In cases like this, I always recommend chocolate, if your diet allows it (mine usually doesn't).

 

[Deleted member 35429]

For me it is not only hard to talk about its hard to put words to. Is it the same for you?

Yes, completely. It took me months and months of therapy to find words. I felt speechless and almost brain dead when trying to talk about it all. I think dissociation makes it hard to put words and feelings on trauma. For me it was(and sometimes still is) like my mind stops functioning the more I'm trying to discuss it. I just draw a blank. I often find myself telling my therapist I don't have the vocabulary to explain this and my dissociated brain won't allow me to feel it. It's been an immense challenge but I truly feel a lot of relief finally. I've found what helps me is deeply analyzing triggers. That's the only way I've been able to experience feelings and recover memories of details.

I have also found that reading other people's similar stories has really helped me put words to the unspeakable feelings from experiencing degrading violence and violation.

 

[Joan]

Kudos for stepping out, reaching out, opening up....take your time and look around the site. Jump in when you feel comfortable. Be kind to yourself.

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

Congratulation for this first, brave post! I think many if not most of us have difficulty putting words to what happened to us. I'm trying to post an image of an art journal page about how there are no words and that "I make art to show what I cannot tell." I don't know if it will come out, but I posted it to Media awhile ago. Just know that you are not alone!