DID ??? talking to parts/ fragments whatever you want to call them

[mumstheword]

I think I'm getting to the bottom of where this part is coming from. She wants some certainty. Because my sexual abuse was all so unclear to me, I think it started pre-verbal once, and then when I was three, but I was drugged then as well (I know about the drugging, for certain). Then I was raped in my teens when out of it, a few different times by different people. The last few times I was on a very extreme hallucinogen. I had no clarity around all this, so I think my part is trying to establish facts and is desperate for clarity and a sense of certainty.

I also think she has internalized the blaming of self, the victim blaming and the self-negating comes as a result of this frustration with uncertainty and victimhood that has so few answers or resolution.

I don't have BPD, but I sure as hell have c-ptsd. I wish my part would cut me some slack and stop doubting me to the extent she does but I'm happy to make sure I'm not deluding myself or being too "victims".