Tentative Hello

[Nemone]

I don't know if I have ptsd or not. I've taken several of the tests for symptoms and it seems like it's highly possible I have complex ptsd but just coming on a site for people who have it makes me feel a bit weird and uncomfortable. I hate calling the things that happened to me traumas because it makes me feel stupid but it's been a long time since those things happened and I've barely gotten better enough to be able to go to the doctor or dentist without freaking out or meeting people without being scared. I have been taking medicine for ADD and for Anxiety but my doctor diagnosed me without knowing about the stuff in my past. I just kind of feel like I'm crazy sometimes and I feel bad thinking about things from the past, like I should just forget it and let go. I feel stupid blaming my current condition on those things and I don't really know how I'm supposed to figure out if those things are what made me this way. Somehow whenever I talk to somebody about all the things that happened I start to feel sorry for myself or I just get really angry and feel like yelling so I've avoided doing so even though I do remember a lot. I hope talking to everyone here can help me make up my mind to see someone. Sometimes I feel like I've gotten a little better and I end up avoiding getting help.

 

[Srain]

Welcome to the Forum Nemone :)

I'm glad you found this site, you will find there are a lot of supportive people here. It sounds like you have already taken some very important steps towards facing some of your issues and should be recognized for those. I, too, have had and still am having struggles in those areas.

You will find many supportive people on this site as well as information. Feel free to post as often as you feel comfortable. Take care.

Peace,
Rain

 

[Froggie]

Hi and welcome to the forum Nemone. No one can walk the path of PTSD without having medical and professional support. It is so hard doing it cold turkey ! No one deserves to undergo that kind of pain. For me it took professional therapy and meds to get me to some balanced form of life, and even with that, I still can't work as PTSD has so drained my energy capacities.

This forum is a great peer support for the in between professional follow-ups. Everyone here has had to get some help to help themselves. Let us know what your decision is.

 

[Nemone]

Thanks for the warm welcome.

I've been reading a bit on the forums and somehow I feel like I might fit in. I really hope it's possible for me to find a good therapist and feel like I can have a normal life. I quit working after the military and have been letting my husband support me for about 6 years. At first I felt like I just needed a rest after the military so I could get over everything that happened and de-stress but it has just kind of stuck with me all this time and any type of professional figures like doctors (especially doctors), dentists, military, or police were sort of a trigger for me for a long time and still are. I am sort of used to being told that whatever sicknesses or symptoms I have are all in my head so I really get scared about going to see a therapist and having them tell me that I'm fine and that nothing is wrong.

 

[CraftyCath]

Hi Nemone,

I hate calling the things that happened to me traumas because it makes me feel stupid but it's been a long time since those things happened

You are not stupid but I know what you mean. Trauma is just that - traumatic! It doesn't matter how long ago these things happened the memories will still trip us up. That's why therapy is so important.

A good therapist will not tell you nothing is wrong, you wouldn't have need of one if there wasn't. I'm an X Nurse and I freak out with professionals but my new therapist is just right for me. He doesn't mind me being me. My Son always tells me that PTSD is all in the head and I guess he'd be right if it didn't give so many physical symptoms. There is a good article on the Wiki pages about traumatic memories and how trauma affects the brain. They were a real eye-opener for me.

I think you will fit in nicely here and look forward to your posts.

Cath