Testing Therapist?

[aut555]

Omg, no sleep at night. And super emotional time for you right now. Maybe it's ok to call t. No big deal, don't sweat this. You need an appointment, do you have a time to go in, are you taking the baby? Congrats on your bundle of joy. You did it, now you have to take care of you and your baby. You are very important, so don't skimp on this part. My child had colic for three months, l was pulling my hair out. Start snapping pics, because they grow up so fast.

 

[Teamwork]

I do this all the time with my t and don't find it to be testing or playing games but an outright not knowing how a person should act in the circumstances and how I should respond. You sound similar in your thinking. The should have thinking is the clue for me. To think your t should do something and then they don't do it is very upsetting until you learn that they are not mind readers, not purposefully avoiding you, and not checking in based on your reasons that you've come up with based on what you thought they should have done. It's that type of thinking that took me a long time to figure out was mine and mine alone. The thing that helped was being able to collect a bunch of different reasons why my t hadn't checked in based on him supplying me with these reasons over time. Like t saying he had a busy schedule that week, or me recognizing that he often doesn't initiate contact but generally responds to any contact from me. The other big thing is that we have never discussed this conundrum that I get into, so if he knows he guessed. I would say for me, that this behaviour is something I learned from my family of origin. Out of sight out of mind is how we are, but if I connect with any of my siblings they respond. None would initiate it though.

 

[NightSky]

Thanks, all. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. And I know the right thing to do is to reach out and not be ashamed by the need to do so (will I ever get there? I can't imagine what that would even look like.) I don't expect her to call and try to schedule an appointment. More of a check-in thing since it has been a while. We do email. So it would be an easy thing to do. But I absolutely have always had a tendency to do the mind reading thing. "Oh, she hasn't checked in. That's proof she doesn't care." I'm almost always wrong when I do it but it's my default setting. Self protection so I can catch someone who is going to abandon me, before they do it. It's too embarrassing to say something to her about. I couldn't say "I'm disappointed you didn't reach out," because my rational self knows that's not an expectation I should have.
Thankfully this is my third kid so the newborn phase isn't as shocking to my system. :) Thanks for all of the encouragement! This forum is such a huge help.

 

[talon]

If anyone can help me process something I would be so grateful. Sorry this is long. Over the last six...

It sounds like you have become very fond of your therapist and that's no bad thing as they are trained in boundaries and clearly she has been good for you. I feel it's important you contact as it's clearly important that you do. You are in a very emotional state at present which is understandable. Don't be afraid because if your therapist is a good as i suspect she is she may be feeling the same and wondering how much time you need. Email her and say you would like to arrange another session asap . Bite the bullet it will do you no harm and you don't need additional stress at this time. Being a new mum should be a magical time so make sure you enjoy this by looking after your health it's very important that you do. I'm sure she is anxious to hear from you