General Testing..?

[Cyndi S]

Cyndi S, I'm starting to realize that all of our suffers usually feel this way. I feel very sad for them that they feel this way. My sufferer is such a wonderful man and I cant see why he cant understand that. Especially when everyone constantly tells him this.

I think its hard for perfect functioning people to have self confidence some-times let alone someone who doesn't like being in their own mind on occasion. I give constant reassurance because in the end that is all I can do.

 

[Army_Brat_88]

You know what though? I'm coming to HATE the fact that we're on this "roller coaster" just as much as they are. We say we're done, we acknowledge it's over - for good, or for now - and then we chew on it and cause ourselves so much grief. So we keep saying "yes, mentally they are in hell" - but before we know it, we tend to be in that SAME hellish place too. It's just the most unfair part of all of it. :(

 

[JS786]

My sufferer is such a wonderful man and I cant see why he cant understand that. Especially when everyone constantly tells him this.

Pretty, they have a skewed sense of self worth. Ex is alway macho macho eff this, eff that, rahh rahh around his friends... then when it would just be us he'd put on old 50's music that reminded him of his dad, or put on songs that reminded him of me. From what I understand, and I tend to agree, they have a hard time separating who they are as a civilian with who they are as a solider.

So we keep saying "yes, mentally they are in hell" - but before we know it, we tend to be in that SAME hellish place too. It's just the most unfair part of all of it

Army: RAHHHHHHH ROLLER COASTERS SUCK. :mad: (OK, that's not true.. I'm actually a fan of roller coasters, but not this kind.) But you're right, we try so hard to stay uneffected and stay strong, and a lot of us just break down. I know I've had moments, and I've been getting better, but it's unfair. Like with Ex, HE dumped ME. And I dont know why he keeps coming back around. Like, what do you want from me?

I mean, I love him, obviously, or I wouldn't still be here (here meaning on this forum still trying to learn/understand and I wouldnt be answering his msgs)... but it makes the roller coaster that much more twisty-turny confusing.

 

[Army_Brat_88]

Like with Ex, HE dumped ME. And I dont know why he keeps coming back around. Like, what do you want from me

Because men are able to detach very easy for the most part, add any military ontop of that and you're effed. My last civilian bf broke up with me, but then called me a lot for things at work (DON'T EVER DATE ANYONE YOU WORK WITH - EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR), but also to shoot the :poop:. It hurt me everytime, to the point I said to him "please don't ever contact me again because you have no idea what it does to me. Find another admin person to help you, I can't do it anymore". He finally backed away - and eventually left the company (thank God).

It's all just a game, we just don't know if we're for sure on the losing side, or if we should stay in it regardless.

 

[JS786]

Ugh, we're all effed, then, I guess. :(

 

[Army_Brat_88]

That'll be my next thread:

"Combat PTSD: When you know you're effed" :)

 

[JS786]

Hahah, Army... I think we could all give you a few tidbits :)

 

[Cyndi S]

Detachment is a common military trait. Afraid to form a bond because that person may be gone the next day. In my experience though Once they do form a bond though watch out! Its like trying to get peanut butter of saran wrap.

 

[LoyalOne]

Once they do form a bond though watch out! Its like trying to get peanut butter of saran wrap.

:roflmao: You. Are. Not. Kidding. Sgt wants to move next door to me and watch who goes into and comes out of my building, to make sure none of them look shady. I got lurky mystery texts from him this morning, making sure I am going to be okay while he is away for the weekend.

Yeah, actually;

1. You being 'away' means you will be 300 miles closer to where I live.
2. You being 'away' means you will be with a TON of people at your destination, so I know you won't be sitting all alone in your bedroom staring creepily at your shotgun.
3. You being 'away' does not at all impact a. my ability to take care of myself as a grown up, or b. my actual husband's ability to be ... well, my damn husband!

I could scoop him up and smother him, he is so goofily overprotective. He called me all angry during our last hurricane, because he didn't think I was taking it seriously enough. He was honestly getting ready to fly here and make sure I had enough drinking water stocked up. DOWN, boy! DOWN!

 

[sunshiney]

I am in the same boat as you. If he doesnt want to be with me..or think I deserve better. When I walk away why doesnt he leave me the heck alone? Why does he come back a few days later with the sweet text messages, long phone conversations, taking me out to dinner, playing kissy face and calling me Babe as oppose to my real name?

I am tired of the back and forth and all the confusion. It obvious my sufferer and I cant be just friends becasue we still act like lovers. And thats where the mess begins

Sorry just butted in this thread. I have been beyond frustrated with this exactly as you have said it. Last week, I was moving on, ready to move on, avoided phone calls and texts and then got the "babe's" and "I love you's" and up my behind so to speak and I fell for it. And now this week it is a different channel, different tune and it is the same roller coaster ride and pattern. We have an argument, he disappears, he comes back sweet talks and then things change we argue he disappears he comes back. It is a never ending pattern.

 

[LoyalOne]

...because you are the only one who can end it.