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Thanksgiving Is Here Again

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Kyle

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Thanksgiving is upon us again. Anxiety runs high for many of us because we will insist in spending time with family. That is fine if you have been blessed with a decent family. Most of us have not. Co-dependency and PTSD fuel the need to go through the ritual that we all must get together with people we really can't stand. We make excuses saying that it won't be so bad this year and besides we are supposed to be together with family because after all it is Thanksgiving. Children need to see other family relatives are another excuse. Mom and dad are getting on a bit and how many Thanksgivings will they have left? I couldn't possibly not attend because I am expected to show my face.

You tell yourself it is only for a few hours and why rock the boat? You might even tell yourself that deep down your family members really do care about you. If they do care then why do you have PTSD and co-dependency issues? The family comes first before your feelings. You were raised this way and your family don't do change. You see everyone playing their part with all the masks. Remember you have to just suck it up and go through the motion regardless if your anxiety triggers dreadful PTSD.

Why do we do it? The excuse is because it is family yet they don't act like a family should. You could have brothers and sisters who don't act how brothers and sisters should act yet you go out of your way not to upset them. Friends have treated you better but you don't see them on Thanksgiving because you are celebrating Thanksgiving with the same group that make you miserable. You give a hug to mom and dad but secretly you hate their guts. You ignore the comment that you look tired and have put on a few pounds. You check your watch and only fifteen minutes have passed. The nephews and nieces are acting just as obnoxious as your siblings but God forbid you say anything because all hell will break out. Alcohol is passed out and there is plenty of it even though there isn't an adult in the house that doesn’t have a problem with drink.

You have a lot on your mind and want to share but you are being passed over because the NFL has a doubleheader. Remember the golden rule and no talking during the game. The good thing is that you have a choice. The choice requires a lot of self-love, support and faith that you will be fine without the madness. I wish you all well on your respected journeys and Happy Thanksgiving!
 
Hi, I have had alot of Thanksgivings like that. It was very hard to go through that. You sure nailed it on the head. This year I will go over to my daughters house and it will be an enjoyable and pleasant time. I am skipping going to my sisters house where toxicity is king. I know her feelings are hurt but I have to live my own life.

The holidays are hard to go through. I like it when we have a tree, it cheers things up a bit. That is right around the corner too. I wish you the best with your Thanksgiving.
 
Good for you gizmo! The holidays are always hard but the good thing is that Thanksgiving and Christmas are actually really nice days as long as you celebrate them with people who care and love you! Thanks for the Happy Thanksgiving. Have a great day!
 
Sorry, not to be nit picky, but can you stick to the forum default font? I notice more and more people using others and it makes your post hard to read. I tend to skip these posts.
 
I'm truly thankful that we don't have this in the UK. Christmas is bad enough with a defective family, I just can't imagine having to endure/fake another thing one month before as well. The idea of thanksgiving has always filled me with relief that we don't have it.

We do have harvest festival in our traditions, which I like. Because it's about vegetables, not the people who decided to have you instead of working on healing themselves.
 
Well said Hashi. I especially liked the part when you said not the people decided to have you instead of working on healing themselves. Thank you very much, I needed to see this today.
 
My family has a vague understanding that I'm not well so I don't get pressured to attend. Kind of happy about thanksgiving this year, my aunt and uncle are hosting and I like them a lot. I'll catch a ride with my folks so I can take my anxiety meds without worries about driving. For years I wouldn't attend family gatherings to avoid a few toxic relatives, but they're no longer with us. It's okay now, the least pleasant people there are my folks and they behave quite well when there's other people around. The other side of my family wasn't even considered as an option. I haven't had much to do with that side since Gram went into the nursing home. They're not hanging around when I visit Gram! She seems a lot happier too, it's the 'nice little apartment' she always wanted and the people she doesn't like hardly ever visit.
 
Gizmo is right, you nailed it Kyle. The holidays are hard for me because my situation escalated at this time of the year. There's a thread about anniversaries. Well I have one on a holiday. Ugh.

I'm lucky that I don't have to be around my ex. So I don't have the added pressure of going somewhere I don't want to be, or where I'm not wanted.

I wish everyone here a safe and happy time. I know we will all try, and that it will be difficult. But I'm wishing it for all of us just the same.
 
This year for Thanksgiving I threw in the towel. I have had enough of the dysfunction in my family and told them all that me and my family will be staying home for our own Thanksgivng dinner. I have a brother that is the number one cause for the holiday headaches. This year his son is adding to the pre-Thanksgiving nausea. I and my family have just had enough of the fake, forced holiday setting. My actions caused many problems and much anger but I'm beyond caring any longer.
 
It seems that it is time for me to heal from all those Thanksgivings from my past.

I feel like I have the flu. I'm sure it is because my body took a tumble the other day when I was raking those leaves in the backyard.

I have been re-living/having flashbacks to all those times when I would drive to see my "family" for the holiday. So many Thanksgivings, one after another are coming back to me, and I'm feeling all the craziness, the drama, there was so much!

So, I will continue to just let that Thanksgiving and then another one, flow through me, as I release all those toxins from me. Why or why did I do that to myself?
 
Very very true post Kyle. My family has the added bonus of playing hugely competitive card games where everyone else can yell and be obnoxious to each other in the name of "fun". Not acting this way (I refuse to be like that) results in becoming the primary target. Every year I let myself be guilted into participating, and every year it takes me a week or two recover.

This year, I am most thankful for the fact that I am finally willing and strong enough to just say no, and avoid a good chunk of the negativity that is usually served before the turkey.
 
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