That "inner Child" Stuff - Is It Real?

[Bedbug]

Hmm... I still don't quite feel comfortable with the method. Too many people seem to get stuck at the stage of having an inner child (or several, at different ages) and make excuses for their behaviour based on "my inner child did it." Perhaps I'm being too harsh, but it does worry me.

 

[macca]

My understanding was as Digger1 said -as far as I understand, by caring for the inner child we are meeting the unmet needs, thereby achieving resolution and integration. That's how I understand the rationale anyway. It would be interesting to know how well it works for most people.

 

[macca]

I agree Bedbug that if it were to be used to excuse behaviour rather than striving for change and healing, it wouldn't be useful at all.

 

[digger]

There's a difference I guess between just accepting the idea of an inner child and actually working on inner child therapy. @Bedbug I'm not sure I understand what you mean by using it as an excuse for things? Maybe we're coming at this from different start points, for me the hardest part is acknowledging that there was a child who did not get their needs met. Acknowledging that and understanding how that may affect my adult behaviour allows me to look at and change those behaviours, or at least identify behaviours that might need changing. It's more about taking responsibility for behaviour rather than excusing it from my point of view.

 

[digger]

Too many people seem to get stuck at the stage of having an inner child (or several, at different ages)

If you're stuck at that point, then that's where the therapy part comes in, to resolve that and help you get unstuck.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

it scares me that maybe there is a part of me frozen in the trauma.

This is the point of PTSD---that there IS a part of you frozen in the trauma. If your mind wasn't somehow stuck in the past, you wouldn't be reliving it through flashbacks, nightmares, etc. Otherwise you'd be able to just "get over it" like so many people tell you. This "stuck-ness" is what divides those of us who get PTSD from a traumatic event from those of us who don't.

Be careful with the notion of needing scientific proof of something working before you'll partake in a specific therapy. Be careful with dismissing that which you don't understand. (As an example) Yes, CBT is pushed because there is a lot of evidence regarding it's efficacy, however there ARE therapies out there that are healing but don't necessarily have the hard proof data to back this up. Yes, I know, simply because I didn't say "no" to therapies which didn't have years of evidence behind them. It paid off as I found a few of them to be very healing.

It is fear that is a huge part of PTSD. Don't let fear also prevent you from engaging in therapies which may be helpful.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

My therapy is centered around giving my inner child a voice. She has a lot to say. :)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@Bedbug,
You are dismissing the inner child concept based on an ill-conceived notion of this type of therapy. I have never heard of anybody blaming their inner child for something in a serious tone. The only way that another "part" could be to blame for something is if the person has DID and is unaware of the alter's actions.

I repeatedly see dismissive tones in this thread and it makes me feel a bit sad. It is this dismissive-ness of therapies that can keep someone ill. I think at some point you'd need to question why you're dismissing these things? Is it to keep you safe? Does trying something new and unknown scare you? Just a few things to ponder.

 

[Bedbug]

@digger1, I think we agree that there is a lot of value in the "inner child" theory. I am working with it, and benefitting from it, right now. I just think it has been picked up by popular psychology and gets used in a lazy way sometimes. That doesn't devalue the theory, but is perhaps what makes me a little wary of it.

@Solara, is that part necessarily an "inner child"? There are other ways to understand it. Is "inner child" the best way?

 

[Bedbug]

I think we both pressed "post" at the same time, @Solara. :-)

 

[digger]

I suspect that believing in the concept of an "inner child" limits how much healing can be done.

Ok, this confused me then, it seems to be at odds with something you value and are benefiting from. Do you think it will limit your own healing? Why are you pursuing it if you do?

Curious because I'm still very much unsure about it.

 

[Saedhilian]

I have read the book and find it to be quackery. The leader of the cult I was in was very much into Bradshaw, so personally, I would stay away from it. But that's just my opinion from my own experiences.