The Big " I'm So Sorry .____" You Fill In The Blank :(

[Srain]

PTSD Syndrom plaguing me:

It is not difficult for me to stand up for myself at first but then to hold my position with the risk that I might not be "liked" when the dust settles...well...that is an altogether different scenario if I am still in the area... I say this because after having lived in this area and experienced "just knowing" what others feel about, think about, and are saying about me...came up for me again this morning. It's much easier to cut and run online.

I am going to try to be much more careful this next few days because I have a tendency to have the chemicals in my brain be wonky after Migraines. I'm fighting the urge to say to through a gigantic:

'I AM SO SORRY FOR .......!.'<---you fill in

I don't know if you experience this during a symptom, as a symptom, with a symptom, ...but I do! So if you do, I can relate!!!

Oh, and..it's okay, 'they never said a word to me about you' :tup:... how's that work???

(yeah...I've spent, waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time in bed with me and my migraine...)

 

[Lionheart]

Rain,

Am a little bit confused here.....are you saying that you feel the need to apologize for something? Please forgive me, I am mostly asleep still and am having my morning caffeine fix. lol

 

[Zipperhead]

Appologising for inconvience people with your problem. I get it. It's only me. Why should they care? Why should they take time out of their life to help me when I'm weak. It's my fault. But, at the end of the day, it's not our fault. And I deserve to have someone that cares.

 

[goingonhope]

Just clarifying if I understand. Srain, are you saying

I say this because after having lived in this area and experienced "just knowing" what others feel about, think about, and are saying about me...came up for me again this morning.

Is this accurate, and anywhere near what you're saying?

......That through conceptulizing and absorbing a whole lot of others non-verbal communications in regards to you that you've been receiving negative messages about yourself? And, you are so sorry that they don't have a damn clue.

Also, did it come up this morning in the form of hurt feelings, angry disgusted feelings, feelings of shame, resentment, etc. ...or in the form of some communications.

Oh, and..it's okay, 'they never said a word to me about you' :tup:... how's that work???

Also, Has someone approached you lately, or do they and say, "It's okay, they never said a word to me about you."?

If so, Ya' I too wonder how that works.

Wishing your migraine completely passes Srain and you start to feel better soon. Let us know here more, if you're up for it.

Hope

 

[CraftyCath]

I'm always apologising! My T said I have to count how many times I say 'sorry' in the week.

I was crying in his office and said sorry for that, then as I apologised for going over my appointment then then did it again as I was leaving!

I also do this:

I'm sorry for...bumping into you.
I'm sorry for....you bumping into me. Why?
I'm sorry for...having a bad day and sharing it with you.
I'm sorry for...being me.
I'm sorry for...everything!

I was taught to take the blame. I was made a scapegoat. I am now learning to stand up to this.
I'm sorry if this went on a bit...NO I'M NOT!! LOL ;)

 

[jo may]

My husband say's I say sorry to much and sometimes I'm saying sorry for something i've already said sorry for.
I seem to say sorry for everything even when it's not my fault. :cautious:

 

[Muzikluvr]

I would like to extend my most humble apology to you, my neighbors and community, for the choices I've made in my life that may have had a negative impact on you. I am sorry. I know that you do not expect perfection of others and nor do I, but that we all depend on one another, as a social group, to create a life where we can all meet our needs and feel proud of ourselves and our community. And, where I have failed you in that endeavor, I truly regret it. I do feel the scorn of those who are unhappy with me, and it does wear on me in the form of furrowed eyebrows, stress-filled posture, and a frown. I apologize also, for not greeting you with a smile while feeling like I am being scorned by everyone who knows me. It also wears on me in the form of a migraine headache... all stress does, really. And I am sorry for not being healthier, to contribute to our social group, our community, more productively.

Please accept my apology by greeting me with a spirit of friendship when next we meet.

(Like that? Because I've put a lot of thought into that kind of thing...)

 

[Muzikluvr]

I don't think people really want that from others... but I do think that people forget that they hold the key to helping their neighbors out of depression... and out of public censuring... by simply greeting them with friendship, kindness, forgiveness, a helping hand. People are wrapped up in their own lives. I am. I don't even know the latest gossip about people. I see others who are depressed and I see myself in them... I try to be respectful of their space. But, that can be taken as not being concerned about them, or worse... hating them for some mistake they made, or some accusation that's flying around about them, or some lifestyle choice that goes against the majority.

I think that if you placed that apology in the newspaper that you would find that many people don't know what it means, and will reach out to you to let you know that they care about you and that you have nothing to apologize for... you are allowed to be human. And, those who do know what it means... only count if they are filled with shame every time you see them. ... of course... then it is up to you to let them off the hook.

I guess that's just the way I see it. And, I see it for criminal offenses as well. I think that if you really have something to apologize for, then the best thing you can do is just make the apology and then take your lumps and hold your head back up for being a real human being, and a real person in your community, not just some 2 dimensional character. But, someone who is more than what the gossips say about her... someone who is smart and dumb, brave and cowardly, interesting and boring... yk? You are as real as I am, and when that is clear to me... then I understand your mistakes and your disagreeable choices in the context of my own right to make mistakes and choose differently.

sorry... i'm talking into a tin cup right now...

 

[Deleted member 10686]

I can really relate to this thread. I have always been taught to take the blame, to bow down to others. I have gotten better about standing up for myself at first, even if this means being a total a**hole, but after everything is said and done and I feel like the person hates me, I feel like I need to apologize or I won't be liked. Or like there will always be tension until I take the blame. I also apologize for really stupid things all the time, a good example would be saying I'm sorry while in labor every time I screamed. Kinda funny now but I got used to expressing myself or pain being a very bad thing.

Other things I say or have said sorry for....
I'm sorry.....(that you are in my way)
I'm sorry.... (for sharing my opinions, feelings, thoughts)
I'm sorry......(that we disagree)
I'm sorry.... (for being human)
I'm sorry....(that when i am in physical pain I reacted. won't do that again)
I'm sorry....(that I stood up for myself)
I'm sorry.... (That you had a bad day, screamed an inch from my face for 3 hours, and that I finally broke and had a panic attack. Because me breaking means I am taking fault for your bad day that had nothing to do with me)

Oh and here is the best one. I say I'm sorry for something dumb. the person says "Why are you sorry, don't be sorry" and then I say......I'm sorry

 

[jo may]

I can really relate to this thread. I have always been taught to take the blame, to bow down to others. I have gotten better about standing up for myself at first, even if this means being a total a**hole, but after everything is said and done and I feel like the person hates me, I feel like I need to apologize or I won't be liked. Or like there will always be tension until I take the blame. I also apologize for really stupid things all the time, a good example would be saying I'm sorry while in labor every time I screamed. Kinda funny now but I got used to expressing myself or pain being a very bad thing.

Other things I say or have said sorry for....
I'm sorry.....(that you are in my way)
I'm sorry.... (for sharing my opinions, feelings, thoughts)
I'm sorry......(that we disagree)
I'm sorry.... (for being human)
I'm sorry....(that when i am in physical pain I reacted. won't do that again)
I'm sorry....(that I stood up for myself)
I'm sorry.... (That you had a bad day, screamed an inch from my face for 3 hours, and that I finally broke and had a panic attack. Because me breaking means I am taking fault for your bad day that had nothing to do with me)

Oh and here is the best one. I say I'm sorry for something dumb. the person says "Why are you sorry, don't be sorry" and then I say......I'm sorry

I can totally get where you are coming from with that.

Today has started in a really bad way,my hubby wakes me to tell me about the bank.
And I say I know and he screams at me for it and than walks off.

I texted him I was sorry and let's try sorting it out. H e does come up but he ends up screaming at me again.
I said sorry but he's not happy and that's my fault.

Now I have one of my headaches coming and the voice of my ex has kicked off and that is awful.
Yet I still say sorry and feel like it's my fault.

(((hugs forward)))

 

[Srain]

Oh and here is the best one. I say I'm sorry for something dumb. the person says "Why are you sorry, don't be sorry" and then I say......I'm sorry

HA!!!

Oh yeah!!! :tup:

What I was talking about right there!

I'm not really an **shole but I do have strong opinions at times, I'm sorry I do, just don't be mad about it :tdown: ...arghhhhhhhhh I'm torn in half about it at times...I'm sorry!

It's that thing...perpetual "I'm Sorry"...hell, I've got my husband doing it or maybe he was doing it when I met him. It's insane. Better yet...

I'm sorry for being sorry ;)

I'm sorry I was born...
I'm sorry I can't stop standing up for myself...that's NEVER gonna change
I'm sorry I'm not 6ft tall and blonde
I'm sorry I hate doing dishes
I'm sorry I PTSD
I'm sorry I can't sleep
I'm sorry I can't eat
I'm sorry I have flashbacks
I'm sorry I'm so sad
I'm sorry ...................................

pretty much :speechless:

 

[Lionheart]

Yep, I used to apologize for apologizing hahahaha, but I like it when things get stretched to the point of being ridiculous because then I can laugh at my own behavior and see how it's not necessary to be sorry for everything.