General The Encouragement Reminder For Supporters

[ISupportHer]

I think it was hard for me not to take things personally. Everyone is different, but it was a hard lesson.

 

[Breeze]

What helps...Stay calm, step back, breathe and reply to them 'later' rather than a knee jerk reaction.

What to avoid...Try not to lose your temper, much easier said than done. Don't keep trying to contact them. Maybe one text a night is OK, I tried this at one time and it worked. Other than that leave a gap of a few weeks before trying again, that's if they haven't cut you out of all forms of contact.

What works...I no longer know because as I struggled with the silences and pulling away and not contacting him, i eventually snapped and I now haven't heard anything for 3 weeks and know I never will again.

As said above by Al-Lurker, try to gently encourage a person to get help. I felt doing this by finding professional and well known services who would do email counselling might be worth a try as the person I knew couldn't talk to anyone face to face about one issue so I felt this might help. In the end he couldn't do it, but it was worth a shot.

I wish everyone the very best of luck on a very tough road.

 

[Gingerly]

It will be 3 weeks tomorrow since I talked on the phone to my ex-BF Sufferer. I haven't made my usual weekly call, and I haven't heard from him. He did not tell me to stop calling, but I felt I needed to give it a rest. I don't know if it's the right thing to do. A day doesn't go by where I'm not thinking of him, but I think it's time for me to put this entire relationship behind me. Any thoughts??

 

[blackswan]

If things have reached your personal breaking point, then things have reached your personal breaking point. No one can tell you to push yourself beyond what you're capable of!

Your other goals, hopes and interests can only be put on the back burner for so long. If it's time for them to take centre stage again, then it's time :)

 

[Al_Lurker]

@Gingerly you have to take care of yourself before you can be able to take care of someone else. The decision is yours of course but you shouldn't feel bad about protecting yourself if that's what it takes for you to be healthy mentally or physically.

 

[Gingerly]

Thank you @Al_Lurker