The End Of The Road.

[lotus flower]

I am new here. Tonight I feel beside myself with anxiety. I have complex ptsd, along with anxiety and Dissociative disorder. I have been in therapy for 5 years. The last year has been very difficult. Along with my ongoing issues, I lost my mother, father, uncle, and friends husband. My marriage is crumbling, my daughter left to live overseas and I have been diagnosed with a serious health condition. I have left my job, and am in limbo as I am unsure what direction to take with my life. Through this all, my therapist has been my rock. By an unbelievable coincidence, in the last few months, she too has lost several close family members. Our appointments have been erratic due to this and she cancelled on multiple occasions (to be expected). The effect of her grief (which she assures me she is dealing with) has been profound on me (and my inner selves). I feel I can no longer talk to her about anything, I have lost the connection I have had for so long. I feel sick with concern for her, and the fact that the theraputic boundaries mean I am unable to comfort her in any way. I simply am not handling it at all. It is almost as if I am taking on her grief and it is adding to the rawness of my own. How do I begin to deal with this. I am not in a good place.

 

[Srain]

Welcome Lotus Flower,

I'm glad you found this forum. It does sound like you are going through a lot and are in a rough spot.. I might suggest asking for a referral for another therapist at this time due to the boundaries issue because you really need to take care of yourself. Therapists know they need to be seeking help for themselves BEFORE boundaries are crossed with a client, because there can be grave damage done. She will take care of herself, trust me that is her job to do so, and the best thing for you is to remember why you went to her in the first place, that's why it's important that you came here. I'm not saying that you can't care for her but she had responsibilities to you first and that was to make sure you were taken care of and it seems you are without a therapist. You need to get one to help you through this, she cannot.

There are many supportive people on this site and much information. Make yourself at home.
Peace and strength,
Rain

 

[KP the nut]

Lotus Flower, welcome to the forum.

I'm pleased you found us. There is great information here and the community is very supportive, I've made some nice friends. It is also wonderful to realise that you are not alone.

Well done on posting, the first one is the hardest.

Take care
KP

 

[Kim]

My heart goes out to you Lotus Flower. I'm sorry to hear that all this has happened but you've come to the right place. You'll find a lot of support, guidance and understanding here.

You are not alone.