The Great Benzo Debate

[seedling]

Thanks for the video James. It's reminded me why I've been reluctant to take drugs without a lot of thought first. I've had a strong inner voice and it seems now it's not been just paranoid nonsense! Finding now that 1/16 of a mg. of Xanax gives me relief when I need it, I'm glad I didn't start right in on higher doses or multiple meds. Yes, I have suffered from symptoms of PTSD, but not drug side effects in addition. Am finally trying small doses of a few things and finding what I can get relief from.

 

[Unhinged]

My Pdoc gave me Xanax before but to me it was like speed. So in the ER they game me 2mgs of Ativan. That was around the 1st of March and I've had Lorazepam ever since. To begin with I had to take 4-5mgs/day, then they took me down to 1.5/day and that didn't last so now I'm at 0.5mg 3x/day and 1mg/night. In theory it is supposed to help me sleep. I can never sleep with less then 1.5 (real lucky if i sleep with that) and I'm too scared to take 2mgs at the same time again (had wicked hallucinations in the ER that night and no one has proven to me that it wasn't from the Ativan). My doctors were always really layed back about how much I chose to use. They said it was fine to take the 5mgs/day again if i want.

That brings me to the addiction issues. Addiction runs in my family and I don't want any part of that. Every month or so I decide to stop my meds and I won't touch them for a few days or whatever. This week I stopped them to try a new sleeping pill instead. That didn't work so I'm back to following doctors orders. I told the doc last week I wanted off the Lorazepam and it would be nice to find something that would put me to sleep.

 

[anni]

It kind of gives me the willies, Unhinged to sort of offer what could be taken as 'advice' on something this personal and serious so please don't think I am? I couldn't quite tell from your post, but it seems they have you on a 'Take this amount daily' regimen with the Lorazapam? Is it possible for you to just take it as-needed, or is that something you'd rather not get into? I was never, ever able to deal with it every day and yes, did discuss it with my doc who gave me the go-ahead to only use it when I could not beat the stuffing out of the adrenaline any other way, if you know what I mean. Gosh it was helpful in that case.

It was tough, later, finding a way to sleep without it, but looking back, I don't think I'd have done anything differently. The differenence it made was huge, that's all. and much, much needed.

It's awful to be dependant on meds, I know. They're just a tool we can pick up as needed, but put down also when the job's done. :)

 

[Unhinged]

I have been mostly using them 'as needed' since I couldn't afford my refills. But like I told the doc the other day I have pretty much cut myself off completely from the outside world to limit the need for the drugs. Like, if I go out, I have panic attacks so I need the meds more. If I stay in, I usually only use something for sleep. They still don't work for sleep so we trying to see if having the Lorazepam in my system all day (at the recommended dose) and then taking one at night will help knock me out.

Yesterday was the first day in a very long time that I followed the dose and took what I was supposed to. All it made me do was feel high all day, and aggitated all night. Still never got to sleep before 6am, even tho my scheduale was set up to go to bed at 10 (which I tried to do).

 

[anni]

Wow, I never did do the required dose thing, although the dynamics make sense now that it's been explained. I had no idea if one takes it so that it stays in the system it sort of revs one UP. That must have been an abysmal feeling! Oh my, I hope you did get caught up at some point-I've watched the sun come up many times without having been to sleep and it makes the anxiety an awful lot worse, I know.

Yes, it's awful to sort of watch the med bottle go down, and have to plan one's life around THAT-ridiculous, isn't it? I don't know what your situation is but I know the generics are an awful lot cheaper than the name brands. Of course, even the generics on some things are ridiculous so it's not huge amount of help, really! Like, if Imitrex for example is 20 dollars a pill, and the generic (was- better now) 10, yes, that is cheaper but still in the hundreds for a script. Who HAS that?

 

[Di83]

I take Klonopin, but not at night. I take them during the day when needed for attacks. I don't have a problem at night though, only that I require a lot of sleep to feel good the next day. The Klonopin does help me... I've been on Xanax and Buspar and nether seemed to do anything for me. But I'm still in the trial stage for everything....

 

[mommato2]

Ok...someone please help me figure out what to do next.

My hubby is on Klonipin...he takes 1mg a day and sometimes adds a second pill in the evening or for 'break thru' panic attacks. He was in Iraq--PTSD from that and possibly from childhood traumas as well. He is currently seeing a Psychologist at the VA and the Psychiatrist is the one prescribing meds. They just put him in Metazipine also because of the depression and hopelessness that has been hitting hard (the 'why can't these panic attacks just go away? will I have them forever? if so, I don't want to live!)...Not sure the Metazipine is doing anything (7.5 dose)...no crazy dreams--in fact, no dreams at all ...he never has had dreams/nightmares that he can remember.

So...he still has panic attacks.

He is learning a lot from the psychologist...behavior mood stuff. He is interested in coming off of drugs 'one day' and I'm OK with him doing whatever he needs to do (I'm not pushing one way or the other)...but I REALLY WORRY about the damage this is doing. And quite honestly I can't IMAGINE him trying to come off of the meds and FUNCTIONING at ALL with the panic attacks. He won't be able to work.

I'm hoping the psychologist gets him to a place where he CAN TRY.

Where the heck do I find an alternative health MD?

I'm so confused...worried...hell, I hope I don't start getting anxiety over his health (only 1/2 joking)

Any suggestions or helpful insight would be VERY APPRECIATED!!

Thank you.

 

[anni]

Hi,

You said you were also posting in Carers, so someone probably answered there. You sound so concerned and shredded and loving I wished to at least say hi and offer what little I could.

It does sound as if your husband is in good hands for the moment, and is actually progressing and there is a plan in place of meds plus therapy to help him get to some forward place. I'm sure it does feel chaotic and awful, but the hope is very real- they've done this before. Tooling around here, perhaps looking at some of the success story threads, reading some of the articles on the home page might help give you a clearer picture of where all this treatment is headed and why it would be successful. It sounds like your husband is working very hard, wishes to get better and is doing everything he can to obtain his healing- that's awfully important. It might also give you peace to speak to his psychologist and have your questions answered. Just hearing facts is awfully comforting, you know? It might be too early to know if he'll be med free, or when, but another comforting thing might be looking at threads here where this sort of thing is discussed.

I wish I had an answer about how to find alternative treatments. I personally tend to Google local sources of things I'm looking for, and then research which ones are 'the real thing', if I don't know someone personally who can help with that.

Please do take care of yourself. I'm sure a Carer has answered similarly but will know an awful lot more than I do. I am not one, but know that stress is stress, and you're also being affected by it as you and your husband work through his healing.

Peace to you both,

Anni

 

[Srain]

I have been dealing with benzos and experienced exactly what this gal in the video was discussing. I had no idea what these meds were, had never been on them and soon found myself on several at one time and with Ativan I was on the highest dose allowed. So of course it petered out on me and became useless with my anxiety reaching higher and higher levels. I finally began reading up on this and was shocked, angry, and scared as to what I was going to do about it. No dr had warned me this might happen, not the addition but that it would have the "needs more with use" effect!

My Dr put me on Klonopin and that med sent me right off to the mental ward with severe Depression, where they put me through withdrawal off all benzos and replaced it with Neurontin and Gabapentin. These worked on the scale of lets say a 5 but did nothing for the sleep or panic. It was certainly better than nothing and when another med was added with sedating effects for sleep that helped but sleep was still illusive. A few years later I had to figure out a better plan and go back to Ativan but strictly for sleep and occasionally panic. Exercise and other techniques had to come before popping a pill.

So far that has been my guideline. I adhere to it.

It's a rare time that I ever use Ativan during the day when a panic attack hits. I have set out a safe room and use my dog where before I would run to my bedroom with the dogs and turn on the tv and pop a pill. I realize the episodes now don't last as long as they did. Hmmm.

But....it is a very personal thing and I believe medication all have their place. I did what I needed to do. I am in no position to give them up where my sleep is concerned and it's taken me awhile to figure out what works for me. I believe there is physical addition and mental addition. Addition runs in my family too. I don't drink because of it. I
smoked for 33yrs due to it. I could go back at any time. As a teen I indulged in everything, want to go back to it all the time, am quite sure I do in my dreams. But no 2 people are alike so what I need you may not. What works for
you just is not going to do it for me. I worked long and hard researching meds and discussing with my pdoc
about what my sleeping issues are and what I thought would give me the best sleep I could get. I showed what I
was doing to decrease the need for meds during the day BUT with the agreement they would be there should I
need them so I never felt I was walking on a type rope without a net. I think we do that much too much of the time unnecessarily.

Just my take and my experience,
Rain

 

[mommato2]

Thank tor for your inputs and kind words.
I do agree that meds have there place...I'm just not very trusting of doctors and am fearful of him being on the wrong ones. Above all else, I want his hard work and efforts to propell him forward, and not be sabotaged by incorrect meds ya know? But I guess all of this is so individual for each person...no 'one size
fits all ' drug...ugh

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Well, the great benzo debate is over for me. I hit tolerance at the begining of December, stayed on a maintenance dose for three more weeks while going through withdrawal symptoms...it got to a point where I wasn't sleeping at all, and knew that doing a cold turkey couldn't make me feel any worse. Suffered through another few days of insomnia, but now I'm ok...sleeping a whopping nine hours a night! I know they say to not cold turkey, but in my case it was the best thing I could have done. Gradually withdrawing would have just drawn out my symptoms even longer.

 

[anni]

I just clicked on here because I remember having had to do that awhile ago- it really was hellish. I didn't have withdrawal symptoms which were intrusive beyond that stupid insomnia but nothing at ALL worked for that. I wish I hadn't gotten in the habit of self-calming for sleep with this stuff for sooooo long-seemed like a good idea at the time, I guess.There was a ton of stuff going on and at the time sleep was the only escape there was. I also did what you did, Scared- but through not knowing what on earth else to do. Well done with this-yes, there's a medically correct way to do this, we should have probably followed that but it's over and the point being there's sleep outside of those stupid things. I'm doing it in a neck brace at the moment- there's a temptation to use something, a large lump of plastic and foam between you and the pillow! :) I've been swearing a lot- it's not the same as a Lorazapam but it makes me feel better.