The Horror Is Back

[Tessa]

A few years ago we were having a spate os suicides and I found a policeman who had been hanging for three days. His body was decomposing,forming great blistering areas of skin which were bursting and draining stinking fluid onto the floor. I had just cared for his wife having her last baby.

It took a while for the horror to recede as I pushed the awful scene to the back of my mind.

Now I am nursing a dying man and today his skin started blistering and reminded me of the decomposing body. I hate the way cancer eats away at the body while the person is still alive.

I have not been here much lately however need some support as I tried to tell my family and was told to not speak about it.

 

[safenow]

Safe hugs, Tessa. You can talk about it with us. Just be sure to put a trigger warning up. For those of us who have seen and smelled it, we go there with you.

Bless your heart. It is hard to work in the field you are working in when you have PTSD. It is hard enough when you don't have it.

Were you able to process any of that with a therapist after it happened? I wasn't, and I think that's why I used to have such horrible flashbacks. I'll be doing some grounding to release, and I hope you can do that as well. Give yourself a break and know that you are not alone.

 

[Pietro]

Seeing something like that policeman would haunt anyone. Period. Many don't understand that release is important for healing. How many of us were taught that, by burying "uncomfortable" thoughts and events, we could make them go away? I spent decades trying to do that. ;) Not anymore.

I hope that you are able to find someone who can provide you the support you need -- and deserve.

 

[Tessa]

My patient died today. I am glad the suffering is over. Just feel like some space however had to store the body for hours in the heat and patients kept pouring in demanding to be seen.

I have a phone call with my psychologist booked for Thursday.

Thankyou for the support.