The Never Ending Story

[amethist]

Bridey saw the flash quicker than even he thought possible. She turned on a pin head, tore the scythe from Death's hand, and faster than she saw the flash, she brought it across what would have been Death's throat.

"Bugger" muttered Death, as the scythe swung towards him.

 

[Death]

Damn you Bridey.

One day I promise, you will not be able to get the better of me.

 

[anni]

One of the stage hands helpfully retrieved Death's head from under the first row of seats, removed some carmel corn from an eye socket and apologetically handed returned it to it's owner. Bridey still menanced him with his own scythe ( Oh, the irony! ) so after considering the matter for a moment, and weighing the prize of another soul, however scrawny, against the prospect of losing another body part Death tucked his head under his arm and beat a dignified retreat. He'd go try his luck out on Old Skank Road, where some young idiot was bound to be pushing his luck and the limits of the family John Deer tonight. Maybe Home Depot was still open and he could buy another scythe on the way.

 

[amethist]

Bridey just stood there howling with laughter, (and I mean howling).

The audience, stunned by what they had just witnessed, decided to make a hasty exit, on mass. Death was going to miss this one, so many souls to take, and him on the run with his head literally in his hands.

 

[charliehotelwhiskey]

"Oh man! Ever time I try to get Bridey I end up losing my head." muttered Death. "What's this? Eeeewwwww there is caramel corn in my brain cavity. Mom is really going to be upset with me tonight if I don't get my brain washed." Slip. Wooosh. Oooooowwwwww!

 

[anni]

Death made a stopover at Home Depot where he picked up a scythe he liked better than the old one. This one had one of those new soft-grip handles, making it much kinder to the arthritis while in the process of his daily reaping. Things were looking up, and after he ran his head through the auto-clean at the Quiki Car Wash he was beginning to feel much more like himself. Scaring the bejeesis out of a teenage couple parking on a deserted dirt road just for the hell of it ( it wasn't really their time to go, he was just in a really good mood ) Death meandered out to Old Skank Road, where he didn't have long to wait before the roar of engines told him that the reaping of another soul or two was imminent.

 

[charliehotelwhiskey]

Hiding in the bushes Death waits for the cars to approach. Wait for it.... Wait for it..... Wait for it.... NOW! Death jumps into the road ready to take a swing at the nearest car. CRASH! Death's bones fly everywhere. The winner is Bridey in her shiny red Super Stock Dodge. Little did Death know that Bridey was fromPasadena. Its a good thing that Death has in his pocket his repair kit. Super glue and a diagram of the human skelton system.

 

[anni]

Death stuck his fingers back together first, incensed over the mindless waste of that 426 Hemi V-8 classic. As Death, he was supposed to be neutral but this time Bridey had really pissed him the hell OFF! Ancient skanks avoiding the afterlife were one thing, the wanton destruction of an American Icon was another. Death had been present at all the scenes of carnage since the world began but the sight of the Dodge Viper seat someone had lovingly put into this now shattered muscle car, and which now lay in the lonely ruts of Old Skank Road made him-Death- shudder with sheer horror. Holding the flashlight in his teeth, Death worked through the night, gluing and swearing. That skank had to go.

 

[amethist]

Little did Death know but, Bridey was actually one of his nemeses, he just had to work out which one.

 

[Debi]

Judy turns to Peter to remind him of all the time that has been wasted. The chore was a simple one. Judy exclaims to Peter, "You really need to deal with your drama episodes (alcohol binges) so Florence and Snout can have the life they deserve. You could have at least stayed dead until the sheep got painted; we were so close."

 

[amethist]

"Close" exclaimed Peter "You still have not learned have you. There is no way you were ever going to catch those bugger's without Velcro gloves on". "Then you have to stick them on the Velcro wall just to stop them running off again"

Judy looked at him stunned, then shouted "I will stick you to the Velcro wall in a minute", and I wont need the damn gloves to catch you".

Hearing all this yelling set snout off, running in and out of the milk churns lined up waiting to be collected. Unfortunately he was not as good at this as he thought, and ended up knocking 3 of them over.

Confusion and mayhem erupted, as Peter and Judy saw one of them had a strange green liquid in it instead of the milk that it was supposed to contain.

 

[KP the nut]

Peter looked at Judy and asked why Vulcan blood was in the milk churn. 'OMG' shouted Judy, 'Spock is dead, quick call Jean Luc (only strangers call him Captain Picard), the Enterprise must investigate'.