The Normals In My Life Smell The Bad Life Experiences On Me & I'm Sick And Tired Of Their Pity

[Justmehere]

I can't say that I have experienced this first hand, but I do see this attitude online quite a bit (not here) so I know it exists.

There is a hashtag devoted to this happening via online dating sites called #byefelipe.... Many guys are not jerks, but there are enough people in the world that the small percent who are jerks, well, the screenshots abound. Ugh.

 

[foreveralone2099]

A woman can be a victim dealing with law enforcement where they see her as easy pray when young and attractive, someone to exploit, and in other areas as well such as the legal arena and workplace environment. That leaves her with making decisions on the lesser of 2 evils. I get it-it sucks!

My experience is that the cops are biased to the man's side of the story, that they're willing to believe that women will behave in a vaccuum because a priori "crazy". I had a journeyman recently who espoused this view, and there are women who are objectively difficult and lack rationality, but they have buttons too, and the broadbrush term isn't super-useful.

I felt myself in imminent danger as a 20 year old dealing with periodic lapses in consciousness, I was a target for predators. You can bulid yourself up in such a way that people won't bother you, but this is exhausting. I could have probably been more assertive; years ago I rode an overnight train and strange men kept waking me up to talk to me. Now I would tell them to f*ck off, then I was raised to be "nice" and couldn't prioritize my own needs.

This was all a long time ago and I know if I faced that situation again I wouldn't experience it the same way, as I'm a very different person. But at the time it seemed fairly dire.

 

[Muted]

do you guys also feel quite alienated?

Yes, I do. I went to a study last night and stuff I’d been working on in therapy got stirred up and I finally had to leave because I couldn’t stop crying and then I had nightmares last night.

I hate when stuff comes up in situations like that. It’s like I have to be careful when I’m around people because I never know when I’m going to fall apart. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.

 

[mamachick]

i don't think guys really have a lot of insight into experiences of victimization and what that can do to your psyche. yes, i am still working thru some issues, but thanks to the resources here and my ongoing spiritual practices, i am handling it all quite well!

I think I get what you are saying here. To begin with, often these guys do not know of the victimization (in my case), and I don't feel any need to share that information with them, with the exception of a close circle of friends. So those guys in the work force, are they aware of your experiences? Its really hard to understand without knowing it exists as well.
Even those that should have some knowledge due to their professions, I have often found them to have the awareness that I would expect. I do think with help, we can pull out of that victim role and come to believe that what they think is irrelevant in our lives.

* sorry, I meant to say they lack the awareness that I would expect.