The People That Are In My Life Don't Deserve To Know.

[Snowblower]

The few people that I keep in my life I really don't believe deserve to know about my shit. Not because I don't trust or anything. I just could not bare to inflict them with having the fear or anything like that. I love the people that are left to much. While I often want to I just don't want to worry them.

Just kinda looking for feedback experiences and such.

 

[Leah123]

Have you considered that nothing you could share with them would hurt them nearly as much as having it happen to you hurt you? It's so much harder, scarier, more awful to have trauma, than to hear that someone else was traumatized.

If we share it, in the right circumstances, when we're comfortable, with people we trust, they can help support us, understand us better, help us feel not so alone. At least, that's what my therapist tells me. ;) I've found in my own life, it does usually work that way, with the right people. :)

 

[Phenioxrising]

The better you know someone and the more they love you, the less they'll judge you.
Keep in mind that it didn't happen to them ie; the PTSD stigma. as long as they know the real you, the more they'll care about what has happened to you and can help you in times of need, be it to go to lunch or a phone call. Be it hard, try not to think of yourself as labeled.

We are not as "alien or outcast" as some might think...were all different but the same.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

If you define "your shit" as the details of your trauma, then no, they don't. (Decapitation, right?) it's not good for us to burden others with details.

On the other hand, it IS ok to let them know that you were traumatized by giving more general statements. Just save the details for therapy. That's what therapy is there for.

 

[Abstract]

It's so much harder, scarier, more awful to have trauma, than to hear that someone else was traumatized.

I think this is very important to remember. It does not have the same intensity for someone else hearing it as it does for us.

Feedback: I have seen people doing it both ways. Sharing lots of detail and it being ok with both them and their loved ones and people not wanting to share details, keeping details for therapy and places such as here and that working too.

I personally would not ever want to discuss details in a normal life environment as I would not want to load that on someone.

But other than that I suspect what is not so great is someone like myself who just would not even give the most basic hint of information to anyone. Even when it would probably help them feel less excluded and enable them to understand my behaviour more (which could help them directly). Sometimes being excluded can feel worse for people when they love us.

Presently my motivations are possibly multiple. Shame, caretaking, ridiculous need for privacy, denial and total lack of trust in anyone. The last probably being the most significant.

So I think it depends on how much you hide whether this is problematic or not. Sometimes people are much stronger than we give them credit for and we don't need to caretake them. And excluding them can be worse when they can already see that something is wrong.

 

[Snowblower]

Thanks for the insight

 

[Tanishq]

I share with my closest people and whom I can trust. So many people have written excellent points. I agree with them all.