As many of you know I had raised a second grievance with my employers to get them to take some responsibility for the incident and continued mis-management of my situation.
So at the end of October I was interviewed as part of an official investigation. Only a fortnight ago was I able to face reading the transcript of my interview. It triggered me... I figured it would.
Today I got a call at 2pm from the PA to the chief exec. She told me that she had a letter for me and would get it to me before i finished work. I did everything I could for the next two hours not to freak out. Lots of positive, calming self talk, focusing on work and achieving small tasks in the office, i talked to my friendly colleague and explained it to her. She listened and I asked if she would sit with me when the envelope was handed over. My hands and arms were visibly shaking for those two hours.
The PA came in and held the A4 envelope infront of me talking about stuff I can't even remember. I had my hands on the envelope and it seemed forever until it was handed to me. I just wanted the pain to be over. I sat at my desk, looking at the envelope. My heart rate increased, my mouth went try, my shaking continued. I walked into Denise's office and asked her if she'd sit with me. She did and we read the letter together. She said 'You've got them running scared Nicky, Well done, this is a good result". The whole report with all interview transcripts is contained I flicked through and could feel the anxiety build. No way can I read that stuff.
The grievance has been partially upheld. I still don't understand it all and it's implications, but it does say that my return to work should have been something that HR, my line manager and I should have determined between us and that from now on they should be working with me (as I have said all along) to see what i can manage, what is reasonable, what I feel will work.
I've waited over a year for this result and at last I have some acknowledgment of the shit that I have been dealing with that they have tried to pretend didn't/ doesn't exist. Mark has offered to read through the report over the weekend and then I shall hand it to the solicitor so that we can decide what to do next, but it's a start and something that I am relieved by.
So at the end of October I was interviewed as part of an official investigation. Only a fortnight ago was I able to face reading the transcript of my interview. It triggered me... I figured it would.
Today I got a call at 2pm from the PA to the chief exec. She told me that she had a letter for me and would get it to me before i finished work. I did everything I could for the next two hours not to freak out. Lots of positive, calming self talk, focusing on work and achieving small tasks in the office, i talked to my friendly colleague and explained it to her. She listened and I asked if she would sit with me when the envelope was handed over. My hands and arms were visibly shaking for those two hours.
The PA came in and held the A4 envelope infront of me talking about stuff I can't even remember. I had my hands on the envelope and it seemed forever until it was handed to me. I just wanted the pain to be over. I sat at my desk, looking at the envelope. My heart rate increased, my mouth went try, my shaking continued. I walked into Denise's office and asked her if she'd sit with me. She did and we read the letter together. She said 'You've got them running scared Nicky, Well done, this is a good result". The whole report with all interview transcripts is contained I flicked through and could feel the anxiety build. No way can I read that stuff.
The grievance has been partially upheld. I still don't understand it all and it's implications, but it does say that my return to work should have been something that HR, my line manager and I should have determined between us and that from now on they should be working with me (as I have said all along) to see what i can manage, what is reasonable, what I feel will work.
I've waited over a year for this result and at last I have some acknowledgment of the shit that I have been dealing with that they have tried to pretend didn't/ doesn't exist. Mark has offered to read through the report over the weekend and then I shall hand it to the solicitor so that we can decide what to do next, but it's a start and something that I am relieved by.
