The Truth Be Told..........

[billie]

I've spent some time off this forum to see how it affected me. I have spent time trying to control my 15yr old self who wants me dead. My head is chaos. Maybe its ment to be. When you are brought into a world of darkness its almost impossible to imagine light. My grounding techniques are improving. I am safe, I have a good medical team, and the people on here mean something to me. I wont let them down.

 

[billie]

I am so confused about therapy. I can't work out why. My T is amazing but I am projecting something strange. I can't work out my behavior.

 

[billie]

Today she has let me go. I slip back to darkness into the world of ptsd. And it was all defult. My memory has let me down again.....

 

[fly away home]

Gentle hugs for you Billie. You are precious to me.

 

[billie]

The week has been sucked away from me as she asks more questions. As if I could think i can live a normal life. What the hell was I thinking?. The Drs are right prognosis is perminate, I don't think I can ever have a relationship. I have shut down. I feel dead again.

 

[billie]

What have I done?...... I have let a demanding man into my house as a roommate. I need the cash for medical bills. I can't cope and its only been the first night.