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- #37
michelle2025
Bronze Member
Trying to figure things out, I watched a bunch of videos about the narcissistic parent. The videos are mostly just giving me the clues. My dad being very strict on lying was to confuse the fact that his life was full of lies. Who would believe someone so strict about lying was a liar?
The next item is his obsession that my pains were manufactured to get out of doing my chores. It was to a point that when I slipped and nearly chopped my toe off, I was accused of self injury to get out of doing my chores. I finished my chores before going to the house to get my toe taken care of. The ice chopper was slowed by going through my boots and shoes, so it didn't go through the bone. It was decided it wasn't serious enough to have a doctor look at it.
In case you haven't guessed, I grew up on a dairy farm. My chores were a lot of work, and I did them alone. My dad used the excuse that his fingers had been smashed when he was a child, and the pain kept him from doing this work. My dad would drive the tractor with manure spreader attached into the barn. I would clean part of the gutter and then have to find him to move the tractor for cleaning another part. I was to young to drive the tractor, but old enough to clean barn alone. I would usually find him in his workshop watching tv.
The result of this being I don't go to the doctor for the aches and pains I have had since childhood. The back pain did get so severe that I went to a chiropractor, who told me that my lower back had been out of place so long that I had arthritis in my back. lumbar arthritis in my 30s, but I have suffered back pain since I was a child. I even had pains in my sides as a child, and my appendix ruptured on an operating table while serving in the military.
I came up with it once, that my dad was so jealous, that he couldn't stand having his own son having the attention of his wife. (Get to the point Michelle.) My dad had to be the center of attention, and he would lose that center of attention if his child got any medical treatment.
At the age of 76, now that I am retired, I finally get that hernia bulge taken care of. Because of my dad, I felt guilty about taking time off from work to have the surgery.
It makes me wonder how different things would have been if I had gotten the proper diagnosis, and the right medicine.
Michelle
The next item is his obsession that my pains were manufactured to get out of doing my chores. It was to a point that when I slipped and nearly chopped my toe off, I was accused of self injury to get out of doing my chores. I finished my chores before going to the house to get my toe taken care of. The ice chopper was slowed by going through my boots and shoes, so it didn't go through the bone. It was decided it wasn't serious enough to have a doctor look at it.
In case you haven't guessed, I grew up on a dairy farm. My chores were a lot of work, and I did them alone. My dad used the excuse that his fingers had been smashed when he was a child, and the pain kept him from doing this work. My dad would drive the tractor with manure spreader attached into the barn. I would clean part of the gutter and then have to find him to move the tractor for cleaning another part. I was to young to drive the tractor, but old enough to clean barn alone. I would usually find him in his workshop watching tv.
The result of this being I don't go to the doctor for the aches and pains I have had since childhood. The back pain did get so severe that I went to a chiropractor, who told me that my lower back had been out of place so long that I had arthritis in my back. lumbar arthritis in my 30s, but I have suffered back pain since I was a child. I even had pains in my sides as a child, and my appendix ruptured on an operating table while serving in the military.
I came up with it once, that my dad was so jealous, that he couldn't stand having his own son having the attention of his wife. (Get to the point Michelle.) My dad had to be the center of attention, and he would lose that center of attention if his child got any medical treatment.
At the age of 76, now that I am retired, I finally get that hernia bulge taken care of. Because of my dad, I felt guilty about taking time off from work to have the surgery.
It makes me wonder how different things would have been if I had gotten the proper diagnosis, and the right medicine.
Michelle
