Girls never lie boys never tell the truth.

[michelle2025]

Trying to figure things out, I watched a bunch of videos about the narcissistic parent. The videos are mostly just giving me the clues. My dad being very strict on lying was to confuse the fact that his life was full of lies. Who would believe someone so strict about lying was a liar?
The next item is his obsession that my pains were manufactured to get out of doing my chores. It was to a point that when I slipped and nearly chopped my toe off, I was accused of self injury to get out of doing my chores. I finished my chores before going to the house to get my toe taken care of. The ice chopper was slowed by going through my boots and shoes, so it didn't go through the bone. It was decided it wasn't serious enough to have a doctor look at it.
In case you haven't guessed, I grew up on a dairy farm. My chores were a lot of work, and I did them alone. My dad used the excuse that his fingers had been smashed when he was a child, and the pain kept him from doing this work. My dad would drive the tractor with manure spreader attached into the barn. I would clean part of the gutter and then have to find him to move the tractor for cleaning another part. I was to young to drive the tractor, but old enough to clean barn alone. I would usually find him in his workshop watching tv.

The result of this being I don't go to the doctor for the aches and pains I have had since childhood. The back pain did get so severe that I went to a chiropractor, who told me that my lower back had been out of place so long that I had arthritis in my back. lumbar arthritis in my 30s, but I have suffered back pain since I was a child. I even had pains in my sides as a child, and my appendix ruptured on an operating table while serving in the military.
I came up with it once, that my dad was so jealous, that he couldn't stand having his own son having the attention of his wife. (Get to the point Michelle.) My dad had to be the center of attention, and he would lose that center of attention if his child got any medical treatment.
At the age of 76, now that I am retired, I finally get that hernia bulge taken care of. Because of my dad, I felt guilty about taking time off from work to have the surgery.
It makes me wonder how different things would have been if I had gotten the proper diagnosis, and the right medicine.
Michelle

 

[michelle2025]

It's been awhile, Being a veteran, I need to have my medical doctor make referrals for treatments. I finally complained enough about my back, and now I'm seeing a chiropractor. I also complained about my hips and got an x-ray, and a referral for physical therapy. Mostly I get sudden pain when my hip joint dislocates. So now I end up with a walking stick to take the stress off of my hip joint.

Something showed up on my CT lung scan, though I think it was there on the past scans and was ignored by the non VA clinic. I'll have to see if the pulmonologist can figure out why I get throat pain when talking.
Michelle

 

[michelle2025]

I don't really want to start pointing fingers, but I read someplace about some clinic and doctor getting a bonus for prescribing statins. I am wondering if it would go so far as to falsify medical records.

For instance back in 2024 my CT lung scan showed no arterial calcification. Then in 2025 my CT lung scan shows severe arterial calcification. I was trying to figure out how it could go from none to severe in the space of a year. Also into my medical records was put a genetic predisposition to have high cholesterol (Without any genetic test.)
I have been put on a statin and my cholesterol is now down to 66, except that there was no followup by the doctor to check my progress and I did walk in testing. I suspect that the doctor that was to prescribe my HRT saw the high severe arterial calcification and decided HRT was too risky.

In 2026 I had my CT lung scan done at a different clinic (Veteran). The result after being on 5mg Rosuvastatin is again my arterial calcification is back to none. I doubt very much that 6 months on 5MG Rosuvastatin would reduce it from severe to none.

I got into a free program where genetic test was done. I turned out negative for hereditary high cholesterol.
Michelle